Baby Mama Drama Queen

2011-12-29T22:25:00.002-05:00

http://100percentlulu.blogspot.com/2011/12/guess-whos-three.html

Potty Training

2010-04-11T22:56:00.007-04:00

I made the decision that I would start potty training when Lulu started walking. She started taking steps a few weeks ago at daycare but would never walk at home. We finally caught her on video.

So yes finally at 15 months, I have a walker. Which means I have a pottier!!!

I still think of Lulu as my little infant. I have a hard time embracing that she is a toddler and yet she cracks me up EVERYDAY with her "big-girl ways". So today we went to visit my sister who is recovering from surgery. Although we know we should go more often :( we go at least once a week and always on Sunday. While I am there if I have to change her diaper I change her on the guest bathroom floor. Now let me say that Lulu is ALWAYS changed on her changing table at home. We NEVER change anywhere else in the house. It's just easier to do it where all the tools are. So being changed on the floor is out of the norm.

ANYWAY...we were chillin at my sister's house and she noticed Lulu was possibly pooping. And a quick whiff of the room confirmed it. So I tell Lulu to get me a diaper (jokingly) and she toddles over to the door near her diaper bag but then crawls off. I say to my sister and Mom that if she gets her diaper she is getting potty trained TODAY. Well she doesn't but guess what she does do... She crawled down the hall and went into the bathroom. AND LAID ON THE FLOOR. I was completely dumbfounded!!!! SHE IS READY!!!!! Listen if a kid can get a diaper, or go to the place where they are normally changed then they are ready to start potty training.

See what happens in Black culture is you are PRESSURED into potty training. Everyone's parents tell you that YOU were potty trained at like 11 months lol. Clearly if you investigate the story you will find that you were probably 25 months old, but they will have you believe that you were much younger. So you have everyone ask you... "is she potty training". and EVERYONE is a professional, they can do it in just 3 hours or something ridiculous. I don't share those aspirations lol.

So here are my rules

1. I am doing the potty training. Not the childcare provider, not grandma, not the lady down the street. ME!

2. I am potty training on the weekends only. I will not try to force her to use the potty during the 1 hour we get after I am off work and before she goes to bed

3. I am setting a personal time goal. I am not saying what that is. But she is 15 months now....

4. I am not using pull ups. Nope, that's retarded. (imho). We are using panties. She will feel it and so will I lol.

5. We are increasing our sign language skills to ease into our communication of the language of potty

6. This is not a competition... and I am not looking for a shortcut.

7. We are using the potty chair for the purpose of potty training only but will be using the standard size toilet after this

8. I use cloth diapers primarily at home and will continue to use them for the period of potty training.

And without further ado.....

I present, Lulu's first time peeing on the toilet.

TTYL!!!!

Robbin

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

2010-04-09T09:59:00.009-04:00

On November 19, 2008, after being on the wait list for over 4 months, I received the devestating news that Ethiopia was closing to singles in the future and at the very least they would limit the number of single parents allowed to adopt. I remember the feeling of hopelessness. I also remember the many stories of success that happened just because we all just stood on FAITH!!!!! Let me tell you the road was TOUGH!!!!! But I was stuck, I couldn't move. Even if I wanted to. I just had to stand still and let God move around me :)

Fast forward to April 1st, 2009. Still at a stand still not knowing what would happen, but still in good spirits (remember my April Fool's engagement post?) On this day, I would have been officially waiting for a referral for 9 months but on hold for 5 of those months. Watching others as they received MY referral, for MY baby. Anyway, I get this very random email from Gladney stating there would be a MANDATORY conference call from singles. THEN, I get a phone call asking if I received the email. Um Yeah. So I call all my single buddies and we synchronize our watches and I head to the restaurant with a "friend".

Sitting there with that really queasy feeling in my stomach I listen with a dropped jaw as Gladney announces they are RESUMING adoptions for singles and we would "fall back into place" on the official wait list. At this point I HUNG UP!!!! LOL. The call was clearly not over. I just HUNG UP. I tried to call my single buddies who clearly had NOT hung up. Then I walked out the resident, set on the curb, and started crying. I was BROKE! My job in real estate had come to a crashing halt, I had school issues, I mean I really had no way of moving forward. NO WAY!!! I was torn. Happy/ Sad. Happy because I wanted a baby; sad because I had no way to make it happen. DAMN.

Somehow I made it thru the dinner and flew home so that I could put on my forensic hat. I am definitely a forensic blogger, with complete adoption insight (one friend even calls me the adoption-whisperer lol). I stared at the unofficial list and had to say DAMN again. The average wait time is 8 months. I've been waiting for 9 months. WHAT THE HELL! I pulled out my contract to see what the bare minimum amount of money I would have to have (remember I was expecting to get the call in OCTOBER). I found a itty bitty conflict and was like "cool, I can pay half!". Hmmmmmm, I don't have half but at least that is half of what I don't have lol. I called all my adopting friends and then I called Arilee, my unofficial adoption consultant. And then I prayed.

Now around the same time my mother had liquidated a ton of investments because she lost so much money in the stock market and she asked me to take her to the credit union to reinvest the money. I did and I took that as the time to tell her that I was indeed back in the mix for a referral. Of course like most non-adopters, this meant NOTHING. It was over 15 months in this process and everyone was OVER IT! LOL. I went on about my business while trying to contain my uncertainty and GLEE. I told my friends. "NEXT THURSDAY" for me. Those that were not as CONNECTED... made their predictions, for me and for themselves. Catrina and I spent COUNTLESS hours on the phone OBSESSING!!!

Ok is the anticipation building lol.... 8 DAYS LATER.... on April 9th I left school came home and laid across my bed. The house was calm and I was alone. Just like I wanted it. I called Catrina and said "Today". and then I laid there in peace. At 3:52 p.m. my phone rang.

I picked up the phone and in true multitasking fashion, I managed to listen, open an email, email 11 ppl and text 3 ppl. All in ONE MINUTE!!!!!!

And then I wrote this:

me: April 9, 2009 3:57:35 PM EDT I'm getting a referral!

me: April 9, 2009 4:07:10 PM EDT I HAVE A DAUGHTER

me: April 9, 2009 4:08:11 PM

EDT I CANNOT CALL I AM STILL ON THe PHONE....everyone please

email back the number I can call you all on!

Tami: WHY ARE YOu EMAILING ME

ME: i'm on the phone with Abbey I just sent the referral to you

Tami: Answer your damn phone! Call me! Send me pictures! Wtf?!!!!!!!!

me: i sent it!!!

Tami: Beeatch!!!!!! Answer the phone!!!!!!!! Cutie!!!!!!!!! OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG cutieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee piiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Me: I'm ON THE PHONE WITH ABBEY!!! literally she is talking I don't know what the fuck she is

saying lol!

Okay you get the picture right!

It went on for HOURS!!!!! This is what I saw:

I can not tell you that it was all happy praise. From me or from some others. This baby was so tiny, her head SOOOOO big. But after some real heart to heart conversations with those close to me and to God, I proceeded. With the help of a gift from my mom and some great gifts from friends (Thanks Celeste and Deb!), I proceeded forward.

It has been ONE YEAR since I first saw her face. And today I still never tire of seeing it!

A year ago today!

2010-04-09T09:55:00.002-04:00

A year ago today I fell in love with an angel. It was such a long journey to get here but faith helped me make it thru. I have some pics to post but I'm away from my computer.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this baby.

More to post Later!

My Soapbox Rant

2010-03-20T13:29:00.011-04:00

I DO NOT HATE LOCS! not on grown ups and NOT on children.

I feel it is necessary for me to make this declaration after having a pissing match with a woman about my "disgust" with locing children's hair.

Here are my thoughts:

1. Loc because you want to. But KNOW it is time intensive and requires a LOT of maintenance

2. Yes it's sexist but I don't mind boys because they can cut their hair off (without trying to UnLOC) and gone about their business

3. I HATE HATE HATE, the idea that you are locing the hair because it will be easier to manage. Locing will NOT save you from hours of caring for your daughters hair. If you don't want to comb it DO NOT loc for this reason. Just don't. In a nutshell (and I can say this cause it's my blog)... it's triflin'. If you don't know what I mean GOOGLE it.

Last week I was accused of blog bashing for a little boy that is locing his hair and now this week I received a 10 minute lashing about my misplaced feelings or rather as it was stated my "disgust" of locs.

Hmmmmm

I present for you exhibit #1

ME WITH LOCS -- Idiot

Exhibit #2....

Remember my lovely friend that traveled to Africa with me. The photographer? Well she was my FREAKIN LOCTICIAN!!!!! Do you even know what that is? Oh wait I forgot you plan on locing the child's hair yourself.

Exhibit #3 my very lovely and SUPERTRENDY little cousin Justyce sporting expertly styled LOCs!!!!!

Exhibit # 4 and her mother -- also a loc wearer

See again, my theory is that NO ONE --- or rather no Black ONE would ever loc a young child's hair (I'm speaking pre-k or younger) unless the child clearly requested it or UNLESS they themselves were loc wearers or come from a loc wearing family

Exhibit #6

my OWN loc wearing family

so if I decide to go back to wearing locs and THEN decide to loc my daughters hair, I would then fit the EXCEPTION

I love 'locs' deplore the term 'dreads' unless you actually have DREADs. Because as we say in loc world... "ain't nothin dreadful about it"

Consequently, my gripe is this. If you don't comb your child's hair at all... (we are speaking daughter here) and then you say, "I'll loc, cause its easier... then taking the time to care for my child's hair." Or it's cheaper. Then, I have a problem with that logic. If I can be honest, and not step on any one's toes in the process consider this: loc wearing IS NOT for the faint at heart. It is NOT embraced in African American culture mainstream. Even with the help of good old Lil Wayne and Lauren Hill and Erykah Badu oh and India Arie and Whoopi.... it still stands out and makes you just a little different. That's all good! I did it. For aesthetic purposes only. I just liked the way it look. But the work was GRUELING. I was in the salon sometimes twice a month, I couldn't wash my own hair because it was a lot to drying and remoisterizing it and I was terrible at styling it. News Flash: I am terrible at styling Lulu's hair. I try products based on recommendations, I dump products out. I go thru ALL of the same hardships a white mom with a black child would go thru. Now here is the difference. I'm BLACK!!! and EVERYWHERE... I mean EVERYWHERE I go I'm around some Black 'folks'. I get called to the mat about her hair. Do this, don't do that. Try this. Hell at the daycare they will even completely change her hair! Yep. It IS our culture.

If you went to Ethiopia, did you really see anyone with locs? Jamaica maybe.... but how many did you see in ET? Thank God for Madame CJ Walker. She invented the straightening comb, and shortly after somebody put LYE in a jar and Malcolm Little got some conk and had waves... you know the story (before he was Malcolm X of course).

See in our community we are proud of our hair. We don't get it done, we get it "DID"..... Frequently. And wash it infrequently. But we keep it coifed!

So to say that I don't like locs is not a truthful statement. I LOVE THEM.... But I must say I cringe when I see a family with NO Black "friends" in any of their Facebook pictures, and the only black's in the photos are the kids... wearing HOME LOC'ed HAIR..... Are you kidding me.

three strikes.... really.

So if I've pissed you off SORRY. But it just needed to be said.

TTYL

Where does the time go?

2010-03-06T10:49:00.004-05:00

Hello blog world!!!!! We are still here. Just wanted to take a second to write a quick post. I am starting work on Monday....YAY MOMMY!!!! And so to ease the transition, Ms. Lu started daycare this week (on Monday). I really like the daycare but apparently I am the only one. Lulu was not pleased and has been very stubborn at daycare. She will barely eat and won't nap AT ALL. So she falls right to sleep as soon as she gets in the car at FIVE o'clock. Not a good thing for Mommy. I wake her butt right up and make her stay up as long as possible at home and then she is usually out for the night (sometimes as early as 6:45). Hopefully as she gets more comfortable she will start napping. So today being Saturday, I am doing laundry (5 loads) and folding and cleaning and menu planning for next week and like clockwork she went down for a nap at 10:15! I don't know what they are doing to my poor baby but they better stop or Big Momma (that's me lol) is gonna get them! Her disposition is better aside from the mean streak. She is playing independently more today. Yay!!!!

I hope to upload my cameras later today and I will put some pics on Lulu's blog!

TTYL

Robbin

Lulu Learned to climb the stairs!

2010-01-24T12:26:00.004-05:00

They say jealousy breeds competition. I live in a ranch style house so Lulu never really sees stairs, but my friend Mai announced that her 10 month old was climbing the stairs and I thought to myself... "self, you better get your 13 month old on that"... Although my little angel was delayed in her gross motor skills when she came home, she is quickly moving on up the ladder! Besides walking (which she ain't doing!) she has politely tested out of her age group for everything. So now my little genius... um hmm... has figured out the art of stair climbing on her first go round at Granny's house. There has been some editing to this video: I tried to take the fat person in the hat (me) out and also though it looks like she is falling backwards she isn't just at the end; but besides that this is true finesse and skills!!! Of course my family is hyping her up and pushing her to the finish line. Act impressed... I'm a first time mom!!! LOL.... Oh yeah I added some nice CBR music to describe my daughter turning into the beautiful butterfly that she is becoming :) (corny I know... but who cares!)

Honestly I can't believe how awesome her "normal" is.

TTYL!!!

Robbin

Updating

2010-01-20T17:58:00.004-05:00

I just went thru and updated my African American Mom's blog list. Nearly all of us are home or close to it!!! Take some time and visit the ladies. Some have abandoned their blogs for Facebook... hmm hmm.... LOL. But I love you guys. And for those still working at it.... here's a little sweetness to motivate you!

TTYL

Hey I'm over here!

2010-01-03T12:29:00.000-05:00

Lulu Happenings http://100percentlulu.blogspot.com/2010/01/january-2-2010.html

2010-01-03T10:04:00.004-05:00

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?

Become a Mommy

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don't even remember what they were but pretty sure I failed!!!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Birth -- No .... Adoptions? YES!!! Valarie, Catrina, Rayshell, Sylvia and some very "pregnant

with anticipation" others!

*correction!!!! My friend Mai gave birth to Bean! Bryce Arrington!!! Sorry future son in law!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

5. What places did you visit?

Dubai, Ethiopia, New York,

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

Lack of procrastination, financial responsibility and organization!

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory?

April 1st -- found out that singles could adopt, April 9th -- saw Lulu for the first time July 3rd -- passed court, August 31 -- First met Lulu!!!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

My adoption

9. What was your biggest failure?

Employment issues, school issues

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

No.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Nothing!!! I was so broke!

12. Where did most of your money go?

Food, credit cards

13. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Lulu

14. What song will always remind you of 2009?

Definitely I’m Yours, by Jason Mraz -- the adoption mantra!

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder? happier

b) thinner or fatter? fatter…

c) richer or poorer? Poorer

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Cooking, exercising, meditating, praying, laughing, drinking!

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?

worrying, stressing, crying

18. How did you spend your summer holidays?

Holiday??? LOL

19. Did you fall in love in 2009?

Yes!!! With Lulu

20. How many one-night stands?

None.

21. What was your favorite TV program?

Modern Family, People's Court

22. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

No Hate.... some strong dislikes! LOL

23. What was the best book you read?

The Kite Runner

24. What was your greatest musical discovery?

You Tube Videos

25. What did you want and get?

Lulu

26. What did you want and not get?

Employment

27. What was your favorite film of this year?

The Kite Runner, Cadillac Records

28. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Not much... 35

29. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Working

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

If its still clean I can wear it again

31. What kept you sane?

My blog friends and my cybersisters!

32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Idris Elba... Kwame Kilpatrick

33. Whose behaviour appalled you?

None

34. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.

Do not take anything for granted. You are not promised anything and it can all go away without warning.

So much fun!!!! I borrowed this from another blogger. Helps put the RESOLUTIONS in perspective.

Live, Love, Hope, Pray, Believe, Care, Exercise, Work, Dream and DRINK!!!!

TTYL

Robbin

Blogging into the future

2009-12-08T11:19:00.004-05:00

I started blogging to get me thru this maze called adoption and it has proved to be a very fruitful journey! I love blogging. And I love my blog friends. I love what this blog has represented for me. I started this journey alone and now I have gained friends, family and my wonderful daughter.

I am very blessed and I want to keep blogging but more about Lulu and my relationship and the trials of being a single mother instead of being a single woman trying to adopt a child. I hope that you all will visit us on our new site. 100percentlulu.

I'm not sure what the topics will be but I want want to keep blogging!!!!

See you soon!

Robbin

Thankful

2009-11-26T08:45:00.007-05:00

Today is Thanksgiving. I have so much to say. Last year on November 19th, 2008, I was told by my agency that Single Parent Adoptions were going to be limited if not stopped all together. Gladney was going to try to push thru 10 women and I was number 12 on that list! I mean I was just sickened. Completely. This "thing" that I wanted was so close but continued to remain so far away. I started this process in Feb of 2008 and had been on the wait list since July of 2008. At this time I had been waiting 4 of an estimated 8 months for my referral. HALF WAY THERE!!! If on target I could possibly meet my little baby sometime around March. Now with the new limitation I was told that I MAY be able to continue the process in October of 09 while some of my friends would have to wait until October 2010 or October 2011

I remember the hysteria around that time. I remember the feeling of hopelessness, incompleteness and overall sadness. I remember all of the very kind words from strangers. I saw so many people searching for a situation and I became a sort of guru of information about who, what, when and where you could go to possibly still be accepted into the ever closing window. I made my decision immediately. I would be still and wait until I could hear the voice of God. I stated very matter of factly to others that despite having other options (domestic) I would stand still until March or April. And then I would decide. I spoke to many friends who could not see any good coming out of waiting. But I didn't have ONE DIME to move to another agency and more than half of my fees had been paid. I just had to wait.

On April 1, 2009, I received a call from agency saying we would have a conference call for singles only. On April 2nd I was told that single parent adoption would be resumed and I was NUMBER 2 on the list waiting for a referral!!!!!!

And on April 9th I met Lulako Daniso!!

So much fear so much anxiety... but the first glimpse of my beautiful daughter (beautiful now but I wasn't so sure then!)

A lot had to happen to make this a reality. And for each and EVERY step I am so VERY THANKFUL!!!!!!!

For the extended wait time... so that I could be matched to THIS little girl
For the many friends that understood because they were going thru the same thing
For the family that supported me
For God for having vision over my life

"They" said it couldn't happen. But IT DID.

I am praying today for Celeste who is still waiting for her girls and for Tami who is still waiting to see her girl.

But guess what EVERY ONE OF MY SINGLE BUDDY's PULLED IT OFF!!!!

Girls last year was bad... but this year we are full of thanks and praise!

**** sorry for the late post!!!!

TTYL

Wordless Wednesday Almost!

2009-11-18T11:06:00.002-05:00

Come on ppl, I can only work with professionals!

Lulu's at it again

2009-11-16T00:07:00.003-05:00

She apparently doesn't appreciate her Mom's creativity. See for your self.

Well I had fun!!!!!

Lulu and her Aunt and namesake Rose! (and a little photoshopping by Mom!)

photo shoot

2009-11-12T00:54:00.003-05:00

Me and Lulu did an impromptu photo shoot a few weeks back and I just got the proofs. I called myself photoshopping them before the pro's did their thing, and my friend Arilee brought me back to reality. Better keep my day job ... oh wait I don't have one LOL. Anyway here is some of the pics!

TTYL

Lulu loves money!

2009-11-08T00:20:00.000-05:00

cheating

2009-11-06T15:22:00.001-05:00

I am cheating.... I'm going out tonight and Lulu is having her first sleep over with grandma!!!! But please check out her blog to see what she's been doing....

www.100percentlulu.blogspot.com

*** congrats Cristina!!!!!!

TTYL

Robbin

Tomorrow

2009-11-05T17:31:00.002-05:00

Today has been a hard day. today I had to face accusations about myself that were not true but there was no real defense. Sometimes things are done in haste or in error and it can be a very costly mistake to live with. What surprised me is that I looked over at my angel baby and I knew what mattered most. I am leaning on the faith that I talk to my friends about. If not faith, Lord please give me some FAVOR.

That's my post. Sorry there isn't more to be said :(

Wordless Wednesday For Real

2009-11-04T15:00:00.002-05:00

Wordless Wednesday

2009-11-04T14:28:00.000-05:00

Birthday Thoughts

2009-11-03T11:12:00.004-05:00

In one month Lulu will celebrate her FIRST birthday!!!!!!! She just has too much stuff already!!!! So instead of getting gifts, Lulu is going to give them. Yesterday, I posted our link to clean:water. It is an awesome organization. In lieu of gifts, donations are made to clean:water on Lulu's behalf and it is spent to build wells in underprivileged areas.

Surprisingly, I've met some opposition to this proposal. Whenever I share with others that Lulu will not be having the traditional first birthday party, I am often given great "cost saving" ideals that would enable me to give her a party. I've been told that I could give her a party and ask for money instead of gifts -- which to me is like having a wedding and asking for money (to avoid a huge discussion about that, I will just say that's not my thing); one suggested I go to "the dollar store" and just at least decorate. I'm not sure what would be the point of spending money when even $20.00 makes a huge difference in a project like this. Lulu will have a cake event. Cake, maybe ice cream (a signature drink for her Mom :). We will take pictures and I'm sure the Grandma's and aunts will come, but we won't do any party favors, or invites, or anything like that. I don't think that Lulu will remember much. I believe that special days are important. I pray that she will certainly have many special days. I just want them to be special for her!

More than anything, I know Lulu has all that she needs at this time. I am blessed to have Lulu but it is because her birth parents did not have all they needed such as medicine and clean water that she is with us today. Her mother died because of that lack of clean water. I am mindful of that DAILY!!! This matters to me, it matters to us and it matters to them. Giving is not a requirement, I only want people to do what they want to do. But I really ain't interested in the naysayers :(

On another note, my sister had a Meet and Greet this weekend for Scotland Rose :)

TTYL!

mycharity: water

2009-11-02T16:22:00.001-05:00

mycharity: water

Posted using ShareThis

National Blog Posting Month

2009-11-01T15:14:00.004-05:00

I tried this last year too!!! But really, with FB its so hard to Blog. Darn! I'm gonna try though....

NABLOPOMO

Please if you are still out there. SAY SOMETHING!!!! Lulu said she's going to post on her blog too!

Ok anyway.....

Yesterday was Halloween. We had an absolutely great time! We had a really long day. First my sister had a meet and greet with her friends (I think we got some pics somewhere). And then we had a party and Lulu was a bumble bee.

Here she is with Uncle Charles, cousin Chelsey and Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

TTYL!

Back!

2009-09-08T23:01:00.003-04:00

I'm here really!!! I know its been an awful long time. So much has happened. I traveled with my two girlfriends to Ethiopia and picked up my little baby. My insurance company refused to cover her and I finished school and have no job! Well I could still sell real estate, so I kind of a job but not it is very very scary!!!!! I want to blog my trip but I am exhausted!!!!

I know I owe some of you updates. I am working on it I promise. Also, I will be posting about all things Lulu, on her blog www.100percentlulu.blogspot.com. Now don't rush over there because there is nothing to see!!! But I am on it. Really... just as soon as I get some sleep. I am TIRED.

Lulu is the bomb and my family is completely enamored. I love her dearly but this is a lot of work... I got some adjusting to do.

100 Things

2009-07-11T10:35:00.005-04:00

food
water
clean water
cell phone
internet
clean clothes
toothpaste
money
car
heat
gas
love
friends
strawberry smoothies
hummus
TV
health
a good bra
pedicure
smiles from passing strangers
My God Children
Lye -- as in the kind you perm your hair with :)
Sonya -- my beautician to surgically apply the lye
OB Tampons
frequent flyer miles
Toms Toothpaste
Deodorant
God
Music
My Mac
4 inch heels
Remote
My Mom
Navigation
Yellow Legal Pads
Sex
Eye glasses
Instant Messenger
White Gap T-shirts
Green well worn head scarf
Peoples Court
Good Books
Butter
My brother
Camera
Education
Bible
Travel
Meditation
Orange kool-aid with Lemon juice
Thongs
Two pillows
Toilet paper
Birth Control Pills
Merlot
Hell - Any Alcohol!
Vision
400 thread count
Freedom
Google
My reputation
Dajuan
Refrigeration
Furnace
Fan
Power
Stimulation conversation
Sunglasses
Fresh flowers
Blogger
Conscience
Youtube
Common Sense
Fruit
Clean Water
Shower
Facebook
Lulako
My Dad
People Magazine
Pictures
A good mattress
Blood
Insurance
Atlas
Perfume
Good will
Rosemary
Love
Family
Martini
Peace of Mind
All 4 seasons
The laughter of children
clean water
My fellow PAP's
Eyebrow Arch
Clean water
Humanitarian spirit
Clean water

Imagine 100 things that you CAN NOT LIVE with out

Now imagine living without ANY of them!

100 Things....

can you give 100 -- little/ inexpensive/ insignificant to you -- things ---

to someone that doesn't have those things that I can't live without?

I have a daughter in Africa. I am going to get her in a month. I am collecting 100 THINGS.... I have lofty goal set to get my baby. Failure is not an option. Because at 6 months she has lost more than I will every gain....

100% is the only options.....

More to Follow!

TTYL

Robbin

BTW.... check this out... http://thewaterproject.org/

Yay!!!

2009-07-03T18:53:00.003-04:00

INTRODUCING

SCOTLAND ROSE LULAKO HOPKINS

Although this picture is a not the most current pic, its one of my favorites. Its like she is saying.... "um yeah... whatever!"

Yes I passed court. Sorry for the cryptic message in the last post. I felt it was important to post that because I had been working on it but I never finished it. But I wanted everyone to know my Babycakes is headed to the US of A!

Ttyl

Robbin

Faith not Fear

2009-07-02T21:31:00.002-04:00

This post was previously written on 6/19/09 but I never finished it

So ya'll know I'm very kool, kalm and kollective right? WRONG... Last week I completely lost it!!!!

See what had happened was .....

I was blessed with this video from Amy E from her travels in early May, and i could never open it. So out of the blue one night Amy gets it fixed up and sends it to me. Now ya'll should know that Catrina is a video maniac and has been waiting on Lulu's video since way before she got her own referral. So any way I open of the video...1 minute and like 3 seconds....and I am completely torn. I mean is this my baby... can this be my daughter? She is so tiny, so helpless. Is she sick... is she OKAY????? I mean Lulu was VERY tiny when I got her referral and she is growing SOOOOOO slowly.

All the thoughts that run thru your head... its just overwhelming. I'm talking 5 days before court and am I really RECONSIDERING!!! SECOND GUESSING!!!! or God forbid REGRETTING?!?!?!?!?!

Can I take care of a sick baby?

Man, i just did not want to think about this. So I just got really really quiet. I think that EVERY parent worries about the health of their baby. Regardless if you give birth to a child or if you adopt a child, the fear of the unknown is VERY great. The problem is this. There are a ton of birth parents that discuss these fears. With their family, their doctor, their friends -- a therapist). They do extra test and obsess over the ultrasounds, they prepare a special diet and stay out of the way of smokers. But adoptive parents, we don't have the luxury of taking all of these precautions. We don't have the luxury of holding our little one and and assessing all the fingers and all the toes. This is obviously the first thing that a mother does after birth (not like she can send Baby back...). We require the same reassurances. So we rely on the monthly reports, the pictures, and the short 1 minute videos. And we assess. I'm telling you... I was not pleased with what I was seeing. I was terrified actually.

Added on 7/02/09

Enter my partner in crime Celeste . So I reluctantly sent the video to Celeste (not Catrina, she's too perky lol). And Celeste instantly heightened my fears. Celeste and I have made this journey from the beginning and we have had some real heart to heart talks, so we know each others breaking point.

Well to make a long story short, after me and Celeste acted like complete maniacs, enter Valarie.....who traveled across the world to check on my little Lulu!!!

Say Hello to Lulako

Now Riddle me this...........

Off to the BAR!

2009-06-16T18:13:00.001-04:00

Now come on guys!!!! STILL ME!

TTYL

Not Today....

2009-06-16T18:09:00.002-04:00

I will wait on the Lord Because his timing IS perfect.

Remember him? Well maybe you can appreciate it now!

I am okay ya'll. If I had to pick between my timing and God's I would go for God's all the time. A Rolex that doesn't require a battery. I'm good!!!!

It's coming. Please listen and appreciate!

Culmination

2009-06-15T04:37:00.005-04:00

Tomorrow morning will be a culmination of things

Tomorrow morning, a judge will wake up in Addis Ababa Ethiopia and don the honorable Black Robe
Tomorrow morning an uncle will travel many hours to say goodbye forever to the daughter of his brother
Tomorrow morning an agent will plead my case
Tomorrow morning a mother in Heaven will rejoice
Tomorrow morning I will become a mother
Tomorrow morning will be a culmination of things

It is 11:39 a.m. in Addis Ababa Ethiopia. Just one day from now my life will change.
Winds of time will come together.

Forces bigger than me.

Forces out of my control...

Eternal forces

Decide

Not my agency, not MOWA, not the judge, not the uncle, not me

A force greater than ALL of that.

24 HOURS

1440 MINUTES

86,400 Seconds

And I'll Be Counting EVERYONE!

Thanks guys!!!

2009-06-10T18:48:00.003-04:00

Honestly, the expression I laughed I cried... (and I was in class tearing up!) Just needed to say it. BTW Tami... you know I got evicted off the island due to not making the income requirements of Island ownership. But I'm fighting my way back!

Thanks everyone!

TTYL

Robbin!

Nervous

2009-06-10T07:22:00.003-04:00

I only have a week until court and my nerves are in the toilet

1. Can I really do this

2. Will I even pass

3. Am I ready

4. Is it too late to turn back

5. Maybe I should wait until I'm married (ha)

6. Is my daughter healthy

7. How will I support us

8. Will I find a job

9. What the HELL was I thinking

10. Is her hair ever gonna grow

11. Will she like me

12. Will I like her

13. Will I find a daycare

14. How will I pay for it

15. Will this nursery ever get done

16. Does it even matter

17. Is she spoiled

18. Will I spoil her

19. Is this the right thing for her

20. Is this the right thing for me

21. Am I insane

22. Will I travel alone

23. How the hell will I pay for it

24. Will I stay in a guest house

25. Will I stay in a hotel

26. Will these ff miles get me a first class ticket

27. Who will pay for it

28. When will I tell this new job that I have to take time off

29. Will I pass court the first time

30. How will I feel

31. When will I get excited

32. Will Gladney be able to get me in the first travel group

33. How will I finish that last paper for school

34. Why am I so sleepy

35. How will I manage our routine

36. What kind of car will I get

37. Will I even be able to get one

38. How the hell am I ever gonna catch up on these bills

39. Will I make enough to support us both

40. Will I cloth diaper

41. Am I insane

42. Will her weight pick up

43. Is she ok

44. Will I trust in the lord

45. Will she be a fit

46. Will I be a fit

47. Will these psycho's on the Boards EVER get a clue

48. Will I ever get to work

49. Will I ever finish my work

50. Will I be grumpy when I come home tired

51. Will she love me anyway

52. Is she happy

53. Will I ever see a picture of her smiling

54. Will it just be the two of us

55. Will my family love her

56. Will I love her

57. Will she love me

58. Is this insane

59. Is it fair that I can "afford" to raise her and her birth family can't

60. Will we visit Addis soon

61. Will we live overseas

62. Will I EVER lose weight or just be a fat mommy

63. How will I teach her to be a good person and not a brat

64. Will she be smart

65. Will she ever grow into her big head

66. Will I ever grow into mine

67. Will she live to serve mankind

68. When will the fears go away

69. When will I love her like my own

70. Will she know me when she first sees me

71. Will she grow up and regret leaving Ethiopia

72. Will she have brothers and sisters

73. Will we leave Michigan

74. How will I discipline her

75. How will I continue to teach her her culture

76. Will having a child make me less marketable

77. Is it to late to turn around

78. Does my friends think I'm crazy

79. Do I care

80. Will she put prints on my stark white sofa

81. Should I sale it

82. When will I travel

83. Am I going to be lonely

84. Will she be a lonely only child or a bully

85. Am I as crazy as the ppl on Yahoo groups

86. Is my daughter stolen

87. Is there corruption in this adoption

88. Did I pick the right name for her

89. Why don't I ever use it

90. Does she look like me

91. Will people lie to me and say she does

92. Is this the right thing

93. Can I do this

94. Do I want to

95. Is it to late

96. Will I pass court

97. Will I travel soon

98. When will I hold MY DAUGHTER

99. Will ppl be offended by my thoughts

100. Do I give a DAMN

yep... that was me recording all my thoughts in 5 minutes!!! I am losing my mind and very very nervous!

Patiently Waiting!

2009-05-23T10:37:00.003-04:00

Hey there!!! I'm still here. And I do not have a court date yet. I am actually patiently waiting because God is doing SO MUCH in my life right now that I am busy busy preparing to bring Babycakes home. I am rejoicing for my dear friends that passed court!!! Valarie and Ms. D! I am praying for the strength of those that are just waiting and waiting and waiting... Jeanine, Celeste! I am excited for those with new little faces to look at Catrina and Haze! I am hopeful for those preparing and waiting, Tami, Trice, Rayshell and Cristina A. I am in admiration of those that are building there families (way to many to name)! But I am most overwhelmed by what a blessing this experience has been for me. My life is out of control right now. Complete utter chaos, and not in a good way! But I know that the God CONTINUES to take control of the timing, the finances and the everyday victories that exist in my life!

Nope I am not anxious for a court date. I already HAVE a date, but right now only GOD knows!!!

READ THIS.....

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

NOW REALLY read it!

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

When times are hard it is SOOO tempting to try to find your own solution. I am struggling ya'll!!! And God continues to give me so many joys. He continues to make a way out of NOOOOOOOOO way!!! Why does he love me? Why does he remember me? Because I am his child. Because he will provide for me even when I have not been obedient. His love is the love that a parent has for a child, though they may discipline their child for being disobedient, they still continue to feed, clothe and love that child... Oh my Heavenly Father.... The greatest parent indeed!!!

This young man has a simple message to share!!! Please share it with him.

May you find the WAIT as an opportunity to build strength. Like a runner in training. Use this time to strengthen your faith and know that IT IS because HE said IT IS!

TTYL!!!!!

ROBBIN

Life lessons

2009-05-11T11:08:00.005-04:00

Honestly, I am here! Really... just a bad blogger. But this is so cute, so funny and just exemplifies parenting. So many life lessons.....

It reminds of this Cosby great memory..... (sorry couldn't upload it)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jo_bn2blWSY

Could Rudy be any cuter? She couldn't even keep a straight face.

Oh how adorable those little faces are... our sweet little angels....

But eventually they do grow up!

Yep it will happen to all of us!!!! But there will surely be many life lessons and laughs along the way!

TTYL

Robbin

Stand

2009-04-28T18:39:00.002-04:00

Enough Said

Robbin

The call -- My ship has FINALLY come!

2009-04-12T23:20:00.000-04:00

disclaimer: Not your typical description, very long, kind of boring, and just pretty odd...

Okay... Sorry it took so long to write this post. I know for me reading about THE CALL is one of my favorite parts. I didn't think I could do it any justice until the shock wore off, but I didn't want to miss the opportunity to share this.

First of all, I must preference this by saying I am a MANIAC about this adoption. I have a strong ability to retain details and I have sorted all of the possible scenarios of how this referral could actually come about. I was CERTAIN, my call would come this week... I was almost embarrassed to share it with very many people because I didn't want to seem so certain, but I just knew.

Anyway, so I usually don't go to school on Thursday but I went to a workshop at school and my mind was not on the phone or the computer. I got home at 3:00 and I thought to myself... maybe I should email Abbey to ask her if Gladney was going to be open on Friday. You see I was convinced my call was coming on FRIDAY. Gladney really likes Friday and now Friday was not a normal business day. Anyway, I didn't email her. Let me back up a little. After hearing that I could be coming close to being matched with a baby, I had emailed Abbey and asked her to email me first in case I wasn't near the phone, then I emailed her again and said maybe you should call me. She was good about my craziness and told me she would definitely call me because "it's better that way".

So I'm laying across the bed not particularly feeling anything. Just eery, quiet and weird. At 3:57 my phone rang. 817 area code. I picked it up rather reserved, the call went something like this (yes I am ruining it for those who are waiting lol)

Abbey: Hi Robbin

Robbin: Hey Abbey

very casual, cause you know we talk everyday NOT

Abbey: How are you Robbin

Robbin: Um... well I don't know Abbey, how are you

Abbey: Well I think your day is about to get much better... are you near your computer

Clearly Abbey doesn't know me, I sleep with my computer. Mac is my man.

Robbin: Its right here Abbey...

Abbey: I'm sending you an email, let me know when you get, we can open it together.

Insert incessant laughing here. Delirious insane, Coo coo for Cocoa Pops Laughing

Robbin: It's here Abbey... Oh Lord, I have a referral

At this point I start thinking....who the Hell is home... I need support!

Abbey: There are some pictures....

Robbin: I see them...

Abbey: Isn't she beautiful

Ummm okay, lets stop right here... she is umm very very NOT what I expected

Abbey: Robbin? Are you there

No response, just shock...

Abbey: Robbin?

Robbin: Yes Abbey, I'm here

Abbey: She is 4 months

Email Tami: "I'm getting a referral"

Tami: What are you emailing for? (of course you're getting a referral what's your point)

Me: No Tami, I'm getting the referral right now...

Abbey: Robbin are you there.... did you see the little one where she is...

Robbin: Um Yeah sure...

Email 7 other ppl: "I'm getting a referral!!!!!"

Abbey: Okay Robbin I need you to open the second document

Robbin: Okay Abbey

My phone starts ringing OFF THE HOOK.

Email Tami: Why the hell are you calling me??? I'm talking to Abbey

Tami: I need INFO!!!!

Abbey: Robbin are you there?

Robbin: Yes Abbey, I see it (whatever IT is)

I know she is saying something. Maybe its in Amharic. I can't understand her. Maybe I need an interpreter.

Google... Amharic interpreter Michigan

Abbey: Robbin what are you thinking

Robbin: Honestly Abbey?

Abbey: Yes

Robbin: I hear a noise so I know you must be talking... but really I hear "wa womp wa womp, wa womp, wa womp" insert Charlie Brown teacher voice " I am honestly not sure what you are talking about."

Abbey: Robbin are you okay.

Insert incessant laughing here. Delirious insane, Coo coo for Cocoa Pops Laughing

Abbey: You will have all of this in writing. You can review it later. It can be a lot to absorb. I'll just keep going if that's okay

Robbin: Um yeah sure

Reviewing about a hundred emails from the same seven maniacs that keep calling my phone and start sending pictures

Tami: Answer the phone!!!!!!!! Cutie!!!!!!!!! OMGGGGGGGGGcutieeeeeeeeepiiiiiiiiieeeeeeee

Abbey: Are you there Robbin

Robbin: Yes Abbey, are you done?

Abbey: Well... um there is a little more

Robbin: I have to go now Abbey

Abbey: Well umm... I really am happy for you, I won't be in tomorrow and......

Emailing, sweating, hyperventilating. Completely not understanding what Abbey is saying... must be Amharic again.

Robbin: Bye Abbey, have a great Easter, talk to you Monday. Bye now. Bye Bye

Abbey: Um, okay Robbin, have a great weekend.

Call ended 4:27. 39 emails from friends later!

Can I tell you that it was the weirdest and most unplanned reaction, I get that. It was not at all how I imagined. And it took me three days before I was ready to even relive the oddity.

More of my reaction to follow. But I really want to share this song. Its very very fitting!

I know People don't always feel like watching the videos, and a lot of times they are reading from a reader or have the volume down, but the song I have going is by an artist name K'jon. It is a TREAT. It means so much to me and my little one. I would love to share it with you!

Sometimes
It feels like
Everything
Is passin' me by
Every now and then
It feels like (feels like)
My ship has gone and sailed away
But I
I gonna be strong (gotta be strong)
Gotta hold on
It won't be too long

Now the tide is coming near
I see the waves flowing
Out there on the ocean
I know my ship is coming in
Just pass the horizon
And right where the sky ends
Cause out there on the ocean
Know my ship is coming in
But don't leave me hanging
I've been waiting to long
But this moment
My ship has finally come

I would travel to the seven seas
(I would even go)
I would even go wherever the wind blows me
(I'll do anything)
I'll do anything to find my destiny
It's like fightin' with gravity
And it's bringin' me down
If this world was really round then tell me how
It's just a moment for you to come around

Now the tide is coming near
I see the waves flowing
Out there on the ocean
I know my ship is coming in (coming in baby)
Just pass the horizon
And right where the sky ends
Cause out there on the ocean
Know my ship is coming in
But don't leave me hanging
I've been waiting to long
But this moment
My ship has finally come

Finally you come (around)
Around, around
I said finally baby

Finally you come (around)
Around, around

Finally you come around, come around baby

Super Duper Thank You to everyone that has reached out to me. I was NOT prepared for all the support and well wishes. It is an amazing and overwhelming feeling.

Thank you for sharing in this journey.

TTYL

Robbin

REFERRAL!!!!!!!!!

2009-04-09T23:00:00.000-04:00

Today is surreal. Today is April 9, 2009 and today I saw my daughter's beautiful TINY face!

I will tell about the call later.

I added music just for the occasion and updated my blog background.

Oh yeah... she is 4 months old!!!

Lyrics of course.... Lauryn Hill TO GOOD TO BE TRUE!

You're just too good to be true
can't take my eyes off of you
you'd be like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
at long last love has arrived
and I thank God I'm alive
you're just too good to be true
can't take my eyes off of you

Pardon the way that I stare
there's nothing else to compare
the sight of you leaves me weak
there are no words left to speak
but if you feel like I feel
please let me know that it's real
you're just too good to be true
can't take my eyes off of you

chorus:
I need you baby and if it's quite alright
I need you baby to warm the lonely nights
I love you baby, trust in me when I say:ok(its okaay)
Oh pretty baby, don't let me down, I pray
oh pretty baby, now that I've found you, stay
and let me love you, o baby, let me love you, o baby

TTYL

ROBBIN

NOT YET

2009-04-08T18:02:00.002-04:00

No really, there has been NO movement. Minutes feel like hours and hours feel like days. I can't study. And I know I have to.

So I picked a really cheesy song. I know the video doesn't fit, but the words do!

For the life of me
I never thought that it could be
The way it stands right now
Emotions running high
Every night I wish that I
Could tell you how I feel
Those words are here in my heart
Oh but there is just
one missing part
How to put it together
How to say it right
And let you know that
Every night
I'll be dreamin'
Dreamin'
Hoping baby you will be there
I'll be dreamin'
[ Find more Lyrics on www.mp3lyrics.org/SVmc ]
Dreamin'
Hoping baby you will be there
Let me take time out
To try and find out
If this could be real
Cause reality scares me
I've been living a fantasy
How should I feel
Those words are here in my heart
Oh but there is just
one missing part
How to put it together
How to say it right
And let you know that
Every night
I'll be dreamin'
Dreamin'
Hoping baby you will be there
I'll be dreamin'
Dreamin'
Hoping baby you will be there

ttyl

Robbin

Madonna and Child

2009-04-04T17:12:00.012-04:00

In case there is some confusion:

This is THE Madonna

And this is Madonna

adoption: a legal proceeding that creates a parent-child relation between persons not related by blood; the adopted child is entitled to all privileges belonging to a natural child of the adoptive parents

There is no different definition given for those that aren't the "normal" adoptive parents...I don't understand people that rally only for the rights and privileges of those that seem "normal". I am a Black single heterosexual PAP (prospective adoptive parent), I don't want to be judged by the married folks that don't think its important for singles to adopt, nor do I want to judge those that are homosexual trying to adopt, or even judge those adopting transracially. Because judgment is judgment.

judgment: generally refers to the considered evaluation of evidence in the formation of making a decision

Honestly, I am disappointed in the people that were happy to see Madonna's adoption denied. Of course everyone preferenced their opinion by stating that they were absolutely not in judgment. No one would ever say their true reason for being against Madonna adopting this little girl.

Is it Racism? - Are you opposed to it because of the transracial aspects.

Is it Classism? -Are you opposed to it because you believe that Madonna used her money to bully her way thru the system

Is it Religious Intolerance? - Does your religion give you Carte Blanche to decide who is and isn't worthy?

I think its just pure Judgism... Yep I made it up. How ridiculous to assume that money is enough to make the stresses of adoption any easier? So it gets you to the front of the line. But it is still as stressful and heartfelt an experience as any PAP feels when desiring to grow their family. How ridiculous to assume its done for publicity or due to some trend... Really the same money that got her to the front of the line, could have easily bought her a few schools in underdeveloped areas with her name on them, that's publicity. She certainly could have used that same money to find a less public situation with a more accommodating official just to get her a "matching" kid. Nope, she returned to the country that gave her the wonderful son, that she loves dearly and has with her whenever she is seen out publicly who has clearly enhanced her life. She returned to Malawi. She did her homestudy, she did her embassy clearances, she paid her fees to get before the judge (while spending many more dollars in the country), she REQUESTED a waiver and she was denied.

Who gets to judge? Certainly not the same people that have stood or will stand before a decision maker asking for the same consideration -- an opportunity to parent a child. Because after all, who has really earned it? If only AP's and PAP's would stand up for the ideal of parenting by adoption and not the ideal of parenting by adaption. I'm not trying to fit the "norm" I trying to be a Mom.

If Madonna had "just" got pregnant, she could've saved herself a lot of headaches. Shame on her for not picking a more established program -- like Ethiopia to get a healthy infant as young as possible. Nope shame on her for trying to adopt a 4 year old ORPHAN. How dare she, who the hell does she think she is. Using her money and status to take a child away from her home...

I am so very confused.

God bless Mercy... Or is it Lord Have Mercy

Ok, todays selection has a double meaning. Absolutely better include the lyrics because you have to get past all those preconceived Madonna feelings to appreciate this one....

Ive had other guys
Ive looked into their eyes
But I never knew love before
til you walked through my door
Ive had other lips
Ive sailed a thousand ships
But no matter where I go
Youre the one for me baby this I know, cause its

Chorus:

True love
Youre the one Im dreaming of
Your heart fits me like a glove
And Im gonna be true blue baby I love you

Ive heard all the lines
Ive cried oh so many times
Those tear drops they wont fall again
Im so excited cause youre my best friend
So if you should ever doubt
Wonder what love is all about
Just think back and remember dear
Those words whispered in your ear, I said

No more sadness, I kiss it good-bye
The sun is bursting right out of the sky
I searched the whole world for someone like you
Dont you know, dont you know that its

Honestly not trying to piss anyone off... April Fools... You know I don't really care about pissing anyone off.

TTYL

Robbin

Waiting

2009-04-03T10:04:00.003-04:00

Continuing with my very subtle hints by way of a musical parade.

Nothing much to report here...

I give you this Green Day ~~hint~~ hit.

FOR ANYONE I MAY HAVE LEFT BEHIND WITH THIS HINT.... THE LYRICS LOL!

I've been waiting for a long time
For this moment to come
I'm destined
For anything...at all
Downtown lights will be shining
On me like a diamond
Ring out under the midnight hour
No one can touch me now
And I can't turn my back
It's too late ready or not at all

I'm so much closer than
I have ever known...
Wake up

Dawning of a new era
Calling...don't let it catch you falling
Ready or not at all
So close enough to taste it
Almost...I can embrace this
Feeling....on the tip of my tongue

I'm so much closer than
I have ever known...
Wake up
Better thank your lucks stars....

I've been waiting for a life time
For this moment to come
I'm destined for anything at all

Dumbstruck
Colour me stupid
Good luck
You're gonna need it
Where I'm going if I get there...
At all....

Wake up
Better thank your lucky stars....

That's all I can say.... For now....

TTYL

Robbin

I'm So Excited

2009-04-02T10:55:00.002-04:00

Since I'm limited with what I can tell you... I will serenade you in song. Don't be trying to guess LOL. And naw this ain't April Fool's. When I have something to tell ya, I will!

POINTER SISTERS!!!!! I'm So excited.... I'm about to lose control and I think I like it!

TTYL

Robbin

April Fool's

2009-04-01T21:07:00.004-04:00

Today I played the best April Fool's joke on my FB friends and fam. And now I feel really bad because I have to tell them I was just kidding......

I even had family calling me from out of town...

But I did get some great news today... no joke. And Babycakes may be right around the corner.

I'll keep you posted

TTYL

Robbin

There Is NO Me Without You

2009-03-17T19:35:00.003-04:00

Anyone adopting a child from Ethiopia has either read, intend to read or been advised to read this book. There is No Me Without You by Melissa Fay Greene is a must read when trying to understand the in's and out's of the orphan crisis in Ethiopia.

The book is the about the story of Hargewoin Teferra " a middle-class Ethiopian widow whose home became a refuge for hundreds of AIDS orphans, and about a few remarkable children who moved through her life."

Sadly, Ms. Teferra has passed away. Ethiopia has lost a warrior for children's rights.

TTYL

Robbin

Not Angry, Just tired.....

2009-03-03T09:58:00.004-05:00

Suggestive emails with racial undertones are ridiculous! So long Dean Grose!

In 2003 Kweisi Mfume, then president and CEO of the NAACP held a press conference rejecting streotypes of Black people in America.

"We are still living with the entirely untrue racist labels placed on African-Americans hundreds of years ago. We [African-Americans] do not enjoy sitting on our porches, nor do we frequently drink malt liquor from 40-ounce bottles. We do not wear our hats backward, nor our pants with one leg bunched up, and we certainly wear more than just Fila and FUBU. We love to swim. Also, few of us are afraid of dogs. Our hair is not nappy, our buttocks not big, our noses and lips not wide, and our legs are plenty hairy. Our elbows, knees, and heels are smooth and moist. We are not prone to stealing things and we think white women are ugly. We never buy cheap cars and put expensive stereo systems in them. As for the stereos we have, we always keep them playing at a courteous level. As for the cars, we always drive with our seats up and both hands on the wheel. We rarely use swear words, and our grammar is always perfect. The great majority of us think Snoop Dogg is lewd and inappropriate. We never call women derogatory names like “bitches” or “hos.” We do not smoke Kool and most of us have never heard of Newport.

We do not smoke Buddha, nor chronic, nor hocus-pocus, nor any other narcotics. We barely know the meanings of the words “fly,” “dope,” “trick,” “phat,” “dawg,” and “off the hook,” among others. Those of us who are musicians know what guitars and drums are and how to use them to make music. We rarely sing about guns or women. Our handshakes are not complicated at all. We do not like to make fun of white people. We never talk about the “white man” holding us down. We do not name our daughters after perfumes with “ita” added to the end. We do not necessarily like the taste of sweet potato pie, nor collard greens, nor fried chicken, nor watermelon. I don’t even know what chitlins are. Just about all the others I’ve forgotten are false, too. I hope this aids in the removal of racial boundaries and what not."

When asked if any African-American stereotypes are true, Mfume responded: “Well our dicks are huge. Oh, and we can dance like a motherfucker.”

TTYL

Robbin

Change?

2009-02-18T11:25:00.004-05:00

This pissed me off. It should piss you off too (cause its my blog and I said so). I would love to hear ANYTHING that sounds like a different perspective on this......

I borrowed it from my friend Valarie's blog.... we both are at a loss for words (I know hard to believe right).

Oh yeah. The NEW YORK POST published this......

I wanted to say little but come on..... Two days ago a chimp was killed after attacking a visitor to his "mom's" home. The tape was chilling. This is what you do to a chimp out of control.

Is there a correlation?

TTYL

Robbin

Its just hair.....

2009-02-12T15:02:00.006-05:00

I'm a law student. So anyone that knows me knows I love a good argument. But what drives me crazy is when someone acts as if because something does not affect them, it really must not affect anyone else. My last post was linked to a much larger forum and received quite a lot of differing opinions. I must say I have gained a different perspective from my fellow PAP's. I am not saying all Black mom's have hair figured out and that White mom's don't. Come on clearly my Mom missed the hair lesson given to all new mothers at new mother school. But I do think that when we are raising Black boys in White America and Black girls in White America we MUST consider what works best for them. Lets face it, we all want to just fit in... (well most of us anyway). I posted this in part on the forum. I'm sure it will not be well received. But I wanted to share it here as well.

For those who actually read my post, I put a picture of my brother. A few days ago my college educated brother, who has lived on 4 continents and is an accomplished musician, doesn't sag (pants) and was walking along a very diverse street in Manhattan, was stopped by an undercover police officer, questioned and basically badgered because he "fit the profile". After refusing to answer any questions, submit to any search and demanding an explanation, he was "released" and "allowed" to go on his way. Humiliated, is possibly the best word to describe how he felt. Could it happen to anyone? Absolutely. Did he get a chance to explain that he is not African American but perhaps Ethiopian...Nope. Bottom line for me is this: Will he come home and get the necessary support and understanding that he needs in order to dust his self off and go into the big bad world again tomorrow or will he be met with opposition by those who don't want to believe that IT does matter. That you have to really consider what you are doing to possibly add to the issues that is faced everyday by being Black in America.

and because you know I love pictures. I wanted to share this most current one of my brother.....

Needless to say I was heartbroken. And he looks crazy without all those luscious locs!!!

TTYL

Robbin

Locs

2009-02-09T23:30:00.007-05:00

I used to wear Dread locs. I of course don't call them Dread locs, because there is nothing dreadful about them. I wanted to loc my hair for several years but was not ready for the commitment and the finality. I started locing in 2000. I wore my hair loc'd for 7 years. In that time, I had many friends that wore locs as well

My mother wears locs

My brother wears Locs

So you ask yourself... what is the point?

Well we all Loc'd our hair after we were GROWN! I am truly appalled at the trend of adoptive parents -- transracial adoptions -- (White parents, Black Children)-- locing their children hair. Apparently the parents think that this is either a.) desirable by the child or b.) easier to deal with. IT'S NOT!!!!

Locs are first and foremost a choice. You will not find ONE Black parent that will loc their children's hair unless the child is old enough to request it or unless the parents have locs of their own. Locs are a serious and intimate decision. Some wear it for fashion. But either way, all loc wearers know it should not be entered without much thought, understanding and commitment.

It is amazing to me how many hours are spent posting about hair care for "Black" hair. But I understand that the best way to counteract the unknown is to study up. But to loc a child's hair. A child???? Are you serious?

Little Black girls love to swing their pigtails as equally as their white counterparts. Getting your hair pressed for Easter Sunday is a rites of passage of sorts. Hair envy is common, even on small girls. Little Black girls were not very happy to have their hair braided up because although it saved you from the torture of getting your hair "did", it ultimately took away the free feeling of having your hair down.

My heart is sad. I know it might seem so petty but I promise you, it is a growing and pretty irreversible trend. To see so many PAP's make this decision, discuss it and pass pictures on forums, just makes me wonder.... just how much adoptive parents really understand about the challenges faced in transracial adoptions. Yes I know that seems harsh but so is being insensitive to what it means to be Black in America.

I believe in adoption. I believe a child deserves to be in a loving caring home. I also believe that adoption requires an "eyes wide open" approach. The level of understanding is not decided merely by "following your heart" and "saving an orphan". It is not based on cost nor wait times. It's not merely something that can be reversed by disruption or institutionalization. Its not to be done to prove a point...... It is the ultimate gift of life.

I wish I could reach out to the AP's doing this, but I have tried and met great opposition. I found with adoption, people rarely want to hear the truth, or even your opinion. They want to believe what they want to believe. Period.

I am too pissed to say what I want to say. This is a politically correct blog :)

TTYL

Robbin

D!!!??!

2009-01-28T17:17:00.002-05:00

The adoption process is like standing on constantly shifting sand.......

Enough said.

TTYL Robbin

*Thanks Christina!

Where have you been?

2009-01-24T11:02:00.006-05:00

Studying of course! A while back I was praying for some direction and thankfully, so many have prayed for me as well. I know this is suppose to be a good thing, but I am very grateful to almost me done... looking like this!

Actually, I just hadn't posted in a while and I wanted to talk about one of my real passions in life..... eating!!!! LOL. Really I would post before and after pics if I had some after after pics to regain my dignity. Alas, there are none yet so I have to let you in on a little secret.... I'm on a LIVIT..... what's that you say? Well its like a Diet... except you do it to Live, so you change forever!!! :) I have lost 4 lbs in record time and that's all I'm telling you about that! Suffice it to say that my goal weight loss is exponentially higher than that by many times.

I have some ideals on how I will do it and I am going to journal it. But just not so YOU can see lol. I really want to be ready for an active toddler (or teenager as my negative boyfriend seems to think she will be by the time she comes home!) I used to run and I actually have a very good food palette. So I think I can combine the two and maybe get some positive results.....

I also wanted to take a moment to discuss my unnatural addiction to Ethiopian food. Actually, my addiction to it has overtaken my addiction to Taco's! LOL. Basically if I hear the word Taco I then need to go home and cook them for dinner (I feel it coming on right now). However if I SEE injera then I start to crave it and if I see Doro wat, and lamb and all the other spicy fixins... I have to run over to my favorite Ethiopian restaurant in the area Taste of Ethiopia and see my favorite proprietor Meskerem .

I know that Ethiopian food is family style dining. But the other day I couldn't help it and since I am unable to convince any of my friends to eat there with me.... I had to go alone!!!! That's right, a whole table full of food for just ME!!!!!!!!!!

Which brings me full circle to my LIVIT. And the end of this really stupid post.

TTYL Robbin

Its not class its RACE!!!!

2009-01-10T18:51:00.002-05:00

2009.... Are we no further ahead? Despite our president elect.... Is America advancing or regressing or is it just again coming out?

23-year-old son of former baseball star shot in his driveway by police officer

Robbie Tolan, a minor league baseballer, remains hospitalized with bullet in liver

Family alleges racial profiling: "If these had been white kids, this does not happen"

Tolan's father, Bobby, had a 15-year career in the majors

Guess he stole his own car?

I know this is a blog about "happy thoughts" but I think its a relevant topic when bringing Black boys into this continuing climate of racism. Its minorities, Black and Hispanic... Our Ethiopian and Guatemalan "Princes".

TTYL

Robbin

What is the value of a life?

2009-01-07T23:46:00.003-05:00

22 years old. A father. Shot in the back while laying on his stomach, with the knee of an officer at his neck. In front of hundreds of witnesses. On the subway.

It is not easy to watch. It shouldn't be. There is no reason. There is no justification. There is a child left without a father; a family struggling to figure it out; a company scrambling to justify it, a community trying to make sense of it, an attorney hoping to quantify it, a race praying to make it stop, a life lost. Senselessly lost.

Does it make it easier to ignore it if you knew that he was fighting. That he was a convicted felon. That he worked in the fast food industry. That he only has a GED?

Does it matter that he is a Black man, and all of the officers were not.

Or rather... he was.

BTW Officer Johannes Mehserle is reported to be the officer that confused his taser with his hand gun. And one day after the murder he became a proud father. Hmm, what does one say to him. What would Sophina Mesa -- the mother of Oscar's daughter Tatiana say?

I struggled with writing about this. Wonder if I'm just getting soft. Cause I won't say what I want to say. I'll just let it be inferred.

TTYL

Robbin

Welcome 2009

2009-01-01T10:11:00.002-05:00

I wanted to reflect on where I am at this stage and my life as I get ready for the next year

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland /world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child - I'm trying!! I'm trying!!
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon -
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language -- sign language!
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied -
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing -
40. Seen Michelangelos David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person -.
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone's life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone -
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day

If I am blessed to see this time in one year I hope to have done some of these things too.....

1. Finish Law School
2. Start my own Real estate company
3. Of course --- Lose 50 lbs!
4. Travel to Ethiopia
5. See the Pyramids of Egypt
6. Finish my book
7. Grow my own herbs
8. Plan to attempt to do #'s17,18, 27, 44, 60,80.83,86, 94
9. See my daughter's face

Nine great things for 09! I hope you have the same!

TTYL

ROBBIN

Real meaning of Christmas

2008-12-23T00:17:00.004-05:00

I know Christmas in America is about "getting".... its taught so young and as kids we ran to meet friends and family asking: "what did you get?". With so many with so little at this time I am reminded that Christmas is about "giving". Take the word in its literal form: More Christ. Lets be more like Christ and give...... many will not even know its Christmas

My heart is in Africa. Again, dominating the world on the places with the greatest need.

Check this out!

Go Doctors Without Borders!!!

TTYL

ROBBIN

Dreams

2008-12-06T19:08:00.004-05:00

My dreams have been scary lately. Completely weird and out of control. Today I took my nap (yeah I need one everyday), and I dreamed that I was arrested for attempting to kill my best friends mom.... (she's already passed away). She was in the hospital and I was coming to visit her and see how she was feeling and I was arrested IN the hospital. Funny thing is that the police officer that came to arrest me was FINE and very pleasant (like this Detective I once dated... but better). He was very kind to me and I asked him not to cuff me in the back because "my breast are so large and it makes me uncomfortable" lol. He obliged and didn't cuff me at all. I then told my best friend who was there with all of her sisters glaring at me (the sisters, not her) to watch my laptop and purse...... Just before this dream I segued out of someone's party that was apparently related to this same best friend and I kept getting this weird feeling that although all these ppl were there that someone was trying to rob the place.... and I was responsible for serving the cake. So anyway back to the hospital thing.... so Officer Fine -Ass - Hell who told me politely that his name was James something something, took me to the station and I wanted to tell him I was a law student but I didn't. When he got me to the station, I started "consciously" in my mind reciting phone numbers of ppl that have phones that accept collect calls. I was trying to remember my friend Edwar's number, a newly minted attorney, as well as my sister's number. The booking lady was very nice and she commented on my lovely ball gown (right... WTF)..... which was covered by Officer Fine - Ass -Hell's jacket, while she removed the handcuff which was just on one arm. When Officer Fine-Ass-Hell left, the booking lady couldn't find her Miranda rights and asked a coworker for hers. So I said, why am I being arrested? And she opened a file and pulled out an absolutely horrible ring and said, that my best friend's sister had in fact informed the police that I tried to kill her mother to get this ring. We laughed (the booking lady, me and the Miranda reading coworker). I really had to pee so I woke up.

But it unnerved me. I fear jail. I loathe thieves and I really love fine ass hell officers.

Just two nights before this, I dreamed that my two other best friends (Tanya and Kellae the Atlanta girls) were arrested for murdering Kellae's sister (also dead already), who's body was discovered after a really long period of time. I obviously had knowledge of the murder and I was forced to be a party in the case despite me knowing they had done it.

Through out the dream, I kept thinking about the #'s 9 and 20 and I kept saying: You can't multiply them. While my conscience mind kept saying " you can multiply 9 times 20, you are great with math".

For years I used to record my dreams in a dream journal and try to analyze the recurring themes. I have a great friend that (consequently he has lots of the contact with the police) but anyway, he is a great prophet (no really) and can dream and analyze things BEFORE they happen. It's weird and I've never witnessed anything like that. But honestly he can do it. But he NEVER dreams about dead ppl... not ones that are dead at the time of the dream. I'm afraid of asking him about this madness.

Okay...... Yep, if the ET officials are reading this they are convinced that I am crazy. But I'm not! I promise!!! Ask Officer Fine- Ass - Hell......

TTYL Robbin

* so nice to have such close friends that you can share anything. Since none of my pre-blog, pre-adoption friends read this, with whom I'd NEVER share this craziness with, then I am safe from them reading this.

World Aids Day

2008-12-01T20:33:00.003-05:00

Adoption in sub saharan Africa is grown primarily because of AIDS. We are affected. Period. I can't allow myself to selfishly believe that God is allowing this epidemic to grow for the purpose of me becoming a parent. I am being allowed to adopt for the purpose of making change in the life of a child and promoting change in the life of a country; and in my own country; and within my own race; in my own community.

Please watch ALL OF US a documentary by an Ethiopian American doctor about women and AIDs and how the AIDS epidemic involving African American women and African women mirror each other so closely. Imagine, a third world country and urban America. Its on Showtime!!

This is an amazing documentary.

Peace,

Robbin

Blind Faith

2008-11-28T09:54:00.003-05:00

I think everyone has heard some rendition of this story, I can't take credit for it, but I want to share it.

A family that was short on cash and had no food in the house. The family began
to believe God to supply food for them that day.
The husband came in the kitchen and told his wife to set the table. She said,
“Honey, we have no food!” He told her to set the table anyway. She reluctantly set the
table with plates, glasses, spoons, forks, napkins, and everything. She set the table just
like she was about to serve a normal meal.
The husband, wife, and their small son sat down at the table and looked at the
empty plates. The little boy was, of course, very hungry. He looked at his dad and
asked, “What are we going to eat?”
His father replied, “Son the Lord will take care of us, you’ll see.”
The little boy asked the same question, several times, and received the same reply
from his dad. Soon, the little boy said, “I sure would love to have a chocolate pie.”
Once again, his dad told him that the Lord would provide. Just a few moments
later, there was a knock on the door. The father went to open the door and there was a
man standing there with a basket of food. He said, “My wife cooked too much food, and
the Lord said for me to bring this basket to you.”
When they opened the basket, they found chicken, mashed potatoes, corn, beans,
and bread; and last of all, they removed a chocolate pie.
Sometimes in our lives we have to trust God right down to the last second. But
God knows exactly how to take care of us. He can provide exactly what we need. He
provides not only the meals we need, but He cares enough to send a chocolate pie to a
little hungry boy.

I know I have been quiet. And I know I stopped my count down because I was given some news that caused me to feel disappointed and defeated. But I was asked by a dear friend to keep counting. Keep looking with anticipation and to "set the table". (Thanks Celeste). I posted a few weeks ago about a really really challenging situation that I was enduring and I felt so much love and support from those that posted and prayed or prayed and didn't post. I just knew I had more warriors standing beside me then I even knew possible. I am so pleased to announce that my situation was resolved and although I was postponed a little I am back on track. But this is the thing... that postponement actually worked so well within my life that everything else shifted into place.

I'm real big on analogies so let me say this. I ran track in high school (and not one time since lol) and runners know that everyone starts in their own lane at a different spot but the distance is the same. Well, I was still on the track, I could see the finish line, but I was in the wrong lane! God slowed me down and got me back on track! Because trust me... you don't want to come in first and not be in the right lane. That's right disqualified! Thank you everyone for praying for me and with me.

So with that being said, and back by popular demand (ok, not really), I will continue to count. Because although my adoption may be delayed, I have not been disqualified. I don't know what's gonna happen when I get up there in the numbers lol. Maybe I'll start counting old boyfriends, that will get me thru about 100 weeks!

I saw this on a friends page, and I just need to say, PRAISE HIM IN ADVANCE. Because my daughter is coming home.

TTYL Robbin

Oh Give Thanks

2008-11-27T20:26:00.003-05:00

Hello Friends, I just wanted to stop in and give Thanksgiving wishes! I have so much to be thankful for and I am reminded that this world wide web has put so much of the world within my reach. I have met so many friends along the way and gained knowledge that has helped to destroy the many myths perpetuated by the media. I thought about this and wanted to share it, its a blast from the past but fitting!

BTW, I am ever hopeful that single mother adoptions in Ethiopia will not be limited. I know that this is not in my hands (thank goodness cause I would surely mess it up) but I just have a real good feeling that something is gonna break......

TTYL

Robbin

Thank you

2008-11-20T22:14:00.002-05:00

"The sun will come out....tomorrow. Betcha bottom dollar that... tomorrow.... there'll be sun!"

In the voice of Annie. Our favorite orphan. Who never lost hope! And had some fun along the way.

Thank you EVERYONE that sent sweet words of encouragement. I will blog about this soon as I know all the inside info.... in true Robbin Fashion.

TTYL

Robbin

Adoption Postponed

2008-11-18T11:00:00.003-05:00

I'm not sure how I will deal with how I am feeling right now...... There are no words.

Step 1 -- I shut down all my Yahoo groups. Getting 100's of emails about adoption is more than I can endure.

TTYL

Robbin

Get it while its hot!

2008-11-16T21:13:00.003-05:00

Somebody that I know was told by someone that they know that was told by their cousins aunt who heard that..........

Just kidding. You know how I purchased my car seat a few months back and was so pleased about the deal I got on ebay? ( I think I talked about it.... Britax, for 180.00 including shipping and retails for 250.00). Well this trumps that deal by about 1000%! And since I needed two car seats, I ran over and purchased another!

That's right! A Britax car seat for 42.00!!!!!!!!!!! This is amazing, too good to be true and I am waiting on my, "April Fool's email". In November.

I purchased mine and didn't have to get the "moo moo" one which is also a steal at 59.00. And they both have free shipping..... no kidding. Check it out for yourself ! I feel like I hit the lottery!!! And it won't be here until December. Until then, I will be keeping my fingers crossed.

TTYL Robbin

OOPS Week 19

2008-11-15T20:48:00.003-05:00

sorry to all those "blog-reader-people" I cheated. Its week 19!

Friends

2008-11-11T22:21:00.002-05:00

"I really don't think life is about the I-could-have-beens. Life is only about the I-tried-to-do. I don't mind the failure but I can't imagine that I'd forgive myself if I didn't try.”

Nikki Giovanni

Adoption will test your patience, will, commitment, tenacity and faith. But you learn so much along the way!

TTYL Robbin

Age 18

2008-11-10T11:17:00.005-05:00

Here are a few of my pictures from graduation day. I am with my friend Kellae who's wedding I went to here. Unfortunately, my grandmother had passed away on prom night and so I was whisked off from graduation and off to Louisiana for her funeral so I didn't really get to spend any time with my graduating friends.

I lived in a small town and so they came up with this great ideal of combining both the graduation from both schools together. This is my cousin Tanisha who graduated from the other school. ALL of my friends attended the other school so I was excited to be with the ppl I better connected to. To this day, I definitely am closer to the students at the other school and participate in far more alumni events with them. Because my super popular brother was at the other school ppl for some reason thought I attended there as well!

TTYL

Robbin

oops Sunday post

2008-11-09T11:15:00.000-05:00

My Sunday post didn't come up on Sunday it came on Saturday, because I tried to auto post. Sorry blogger reader ppl, this is another post about NOTHING!!!!! Just trying to keep up with the Blog post month thingy.

Robbin

Week 18

2008-11-08T17:19:00.000-05:00

Senior pictures

2008-11-07T14:44:00.005-05:00

Ok, these are some of my many several hundred dollars worth of senior proofs. Clearly my mother allowed me way to much latitude. When I looked at the nearly 50 proofs in my book I just had to crack up. My mother believed in independence. I picked my own outfits, my own picture package and went to take my pictures ALONE. So I even have one with my boyfriend.... the same guy in the prom pics. The jean picture is sporting the famous airbrush of the 90's lol. Said boyfriend was the artist and on the butt section was both of his hands and it said "hands off". Right....... Thank goodness I don't have that in my senior pics.

TTYL

Robbin

Age 17 Pics!

2008-11-07T14:35:00.008-05:00

Of course this is taken at the beginning of my senior year hence 17!

My date

Pics Coming!

2008-11-06T19:39:00.002-05:00

Because I was suppose to scan my graduation photos and I didn't I have to just type something!!! Cause remember I'm taking the blog challenge. So here it is. Today was beautiful in Michigan. About 70 degrees! My super sweet mom put even more lights outside for me so that I can have a well lit yard... like my neighbors. So maybe I can capture a picture of that.....

Hmm. I'm bored too!

TTYL Robbin

Well Tupac.....Now we are!

2008-11-05T10:06:00.004-05:00

NAS:

What's the black pres thinking on election night,
Is it how can i protect my life? Protect my wife? Protect my rights?
Every other president was nothing less than white,
Except Thomas Jefferson a mixed Indian blood and Calvin Coolidge,
Kkk is like what the fu*k, loading they guns up, loading up mines to,
Ready to ride coz I'm riding with my crew, he dies we die too,
Yea but on a positive side, i think Obama provides hope,
And challenges minds or all races and colours,
To erase hate, and try to love one another, so many political snakes,
We in need of a break, I'm thinking I can trust this brother,
But will he keep it way real, every innocent nigga in jail get shot up in the field?
When he wins will he really care still? I feel

YES WE CAN!!!!!

TTYL Robbin

Red or Blue?

2008-11-04T20:05:00.000-05:00

Tonight's the night!

TTYL Robbin

Age 17

2008-11-03T10:06:00.003-05:00

I think I have quite a few pictures from this age, so I will do them a little at a time to cover my post from "yesterday!".

This is my PROM picture. My lovely dress was $50.00 from Alvyn's Bridal shop and my shoes were $100.00 from Ganto's (remember them!) I still have my dress and when I can fit a size 4 again, I will wear it again! I WILL wear it AGAIN!!!!

TTYL Robbin

National Blog Posting Month

2008-11-02T10:04:00.000-05:00

Okay, here is my post for the day. I don't know about being able to do this every day. At least I can back date and therefore cheat my way thru the already voluntary exercise :(

TTYL ROBBIN

Oops Week 16 pictures

2008-11-01T15:01:00.003-04:00

In the midst of my major breakdown, I forgot to put this out there!

week 17

2008-11-01T14:55:00.003-04:00

this picture reflects how I feel as the time passes. Almost like a robot. No emotions. Just passing thru the motions. Just waiting.

TTYL Robbin

Revelation 3:8

2008-10-29T00:29:00.002-04:00

I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name. (NIV)

My friends, you may have noticed that my post have been limited to the count down and my pictures. One of my friends in Texas is a reader of my blog and she asked me to PLEASE write a decent post. I realized that I am just waiting... waiting .... waiting..... And I have been quiet. Very quiet. I have been struggling with some very scary life events. Situations that good or bad can be hurtful, disappointing, and embarrassing. I have been quiet for the fear that if I open my mouth I will be unable to find my voice. To explain. To ask for forgiveness. To ask for help.

2008 has been a doozy! Anyone close to me knows that I have hidden my head in the sand refusing to deal with some very hurtful acts of betrayal. But, with the prayers of some very close friends and some very wise strangers, I moved into a different phase of my life. I moved forward in my dreams to become a mommy. I know many people were shocked when I made this decision, but I thank God that EVERYONE close to me has accepted and are excited about where I am.

Unfortunately, although God holds our future, and knows what will become, we are given freewill and are actions, inactions and reactions will have consequences. Despite God's greatest hopes for us to seek his face and follow him and allow him to direct our paths, often we take our own route. And for that we will have consequences. If only we could say "Lord, I'm sorry, my bad...." and all of the repercussions would be erased, wouldn't that be magnificent? What I do know is that no matter what... it will all turn out for good, according to God's purpose and plan.

In the coming days, I am faced with the repercussions of my own actions, inactions, and reactions. There was a point where I had given up and things were left uncared for and unresolved. It has put in jeopardy somethings that I worked hard to achieve.

I am a very talkative person, and I have rarely met a stranger. I had the opportunity to have two completely different conversations recently that made an impact on my outlook. The first conversation happened when I changed my insurance policy. The agent that helped me was as chatty as me and very witty. He kept me on the phone for 2 HOURS! And somewhere in there I decided to share with him a secret that I have not shared with many people. I don't have any ideal why. I also shared with him that I was adopting a child. Well later on in another conversation, the same guy was teasing me about my secret and I was pretty down about it and he told me that my future was already set and that I had to have endurance because "endurance is when the competition gives up and you are competing against yourself." It was just what I needed to hear. It just amazes me that God brings ppl in your life to be ready and in place to give you the motivation to keep moving forward.

The second conversation was with a girl that called about renting a property that I own. Now the Michigan market is horrible and some landlords will rent to anybody. I am blessed with a family that is very supportive of my ventures and I have been able to be more picky. It hasn't been the most financially satisfying decision but it has been a well thought out one. Anyway, so this girl starts telling me her story and I know almost immediately that I would not be able to rent to her. But her name sounded familiar and I asked her if she knew me and although she didn't recognize my name, I knew who she was and she was actually a friend of mine in elementary. I remember as a little girl that she had a really hard life so when she told me her story sadly it wasn't much different from what I expected. She started to tell me why she was moving and how her landlord was going into foreclosure and yet still collecting rent and had filed for a money judgment against her in court. I work as an extern in the court and I gave her detailed instructions on how to get back in front of the judge to resolve her situation. She seemed grateful and shared with me that she was a single mom to 3 children but fighting to take custody of her 20 year old sister's infant twin sons. Her sister had 6 children, the first died of SIDs and the others are 5, 3, 1 and the twin 2 month old boys. They are now in foster care because of some injuries to the 5 year old. The young lady works as a manager at KFC and had a very tight budget but yet she wanted desperately to try to get her nephews out of the system. I was amazed by her tenacity. I ended the conversation with the resolve that I will use my gifts to help others. I will remember to speak for those that are ignored not because of what they say but how they say it. I was challenged by her. And I was reminded of my own struggle, to find my own tenacity.

In the coming days I am struggling with remembering that God holds my fate. That God determines my path. I must remind myself that he is the ultimate decision maker and what others may perceive as an opportunity to shut a door is NOTHING because God opened the door. I must remind myself that my gifts are to be used to help others. And that they will not be taken from me because they were given to me by God.

When I wake up in the middle of the night, afraid of what awaits me, I must remind myself that God has told me to fear not. For each and every day, he has told me to FEAR NOT. And it appears 365 times in the Bible. Once for each day. How magnificent is that?

Its been a long time since I reached out and I apologize if this post seem coded. I ask all of my friends that read this to please pray with me and for me, that my situation will be settled in the coming days. And that I remember to FEAR NOT.

TTYL

Robbin

Week 16

2008-10-25T10:59:00.003-04:00

MONTH 4!!!!!!!!!!!

Enough said!

TTYL Robbin

Age 15

2008-10-21T10:42:00.003-04:00

Okay, I got very few comments on the last year maybe because the pics were so hard to see or maybe cause I'm getting cuter (yes that's a word) and ya'll stopped laughing lol!

The top picture was my first date with my first boyfriend... yes I was fast. I went to church with his family. And the second pic was a typical Robbin glamour shot!

Maybe if my referral comes soon then I can start a new parade of something else!

TTYL

Robbin

Week 15

2008-10-18T22:21:00.000-04:00

WOW!

Age 14

2008-10-15T19:11:00.003-04:00

Graduation from 8th grade
Me and my cousin Cheryl. Sorry.... that's me in the pants!!!!

These aren't the best photos but I have to locate my class pic!

TTYL Robbin

Virtual Baby

2008-10-14T01:58:00.005-04:00

Apparently there is some discussion going on on the list about VW and Brooke Shields making an "offensive" ad. I guess I just didn't get as offended as many. In the really (extremely) long ad spot on the VW website which is obviously intended as a spoof similar to SNL skit, Brooke says something about ppl "cyber adopting" for the purpose of being able to drive this minivan. And what appears to be two white women remove what appears to be an asian baby from the minivan. Some on the list have said that it was "hurtful". I thought it was kind of stupid, but I wasn't offended.

You watch it and decide.

But what I did love is that I was able to have me a virtual-baby, with anyone that I want. So I called my Baby daddy... Hill

And he agreed!!! So here is our little one!!! Isn't he cute? (Kind of weird huh?)

And if you want to have your own little one, check it out here! And please, let shoot me a picture.

TTYL Robbin

Week 14

2008-10-11T12:08:00.004-04:00

Time keeps on ticking ticking ticking.... into the future!

TTYL

Robbin

What can I say.... 8th grade and I can't even blame my mom for this!

2008-10-08T13:11:00.002-04:00

Words can't really express this travesty. LOL, I picked my own outfits and backdrops. I take no responsibility for the hair. I should not have been allowed to admire Grace Jones lol...

TTYL Robbin

Week 13

2008-10-05T01:40:00.004-04:00

I was wondering if I could just skip week 13 the same way that elevators skip floor 13 and then I could just skip to week 14? Whaddaya think?

TTYL Robbin

TAGGED

2008-10-04T05:11:00.007-04:00

Yay I've been tagged! Unlike most sane folks, I actually WANTED to get tagged and I've been secretly coveting an invitation!

Thanks to Amy I am now officially a blogger! So here goes

6 Random Things About ME

1. I eat hummus just about EVERY day!

2. I love to read -- anything and everything.

3. I enjoy cooking and I bake cakes from scratch

4. Both my mother and my father have 11 brothers and sisters EACH

5. I CANNOT wash dishes. I mean really! Its just bad (especially considering # 3)

6. I have to have a different glass EVERYTIME I get something to drink -- Thank goodness I have a dishwasher.

Okay so of course I get to "pay it forward" and tag me some other folks, here are the rules

1. Link to the person that tagged you.

2. Post the rules on the blog.

3. Write six random facts about yourself.

4. Tag six people at the end of your post

5. Let each person know they have been tagged.

6. Let the taggers know when your entry is up.

So I tag the following people

1.) Celeste -- Fellow PAP and great new friend.

2.) Tami -- Because her blog is hilarious and she inspired me to blog

3.) Laura -- Because her life is so darn interesting

4.) Julie -- Because I love her wit and humor (is that the same thing?)

5.) Valerie -- Because I'm interested to see what she will share.

6.) Trice -- Because she is a new blogger and I want to break her in early.

One more rule for my fellow Taggers. You have to post a baby picture of yourself at the top of your post, because I shouldn't be humiliated by myself!!!

Age 12 - Glamour shot!

2008-10-02T21:56:00.002-04:00

Come on, I had to put this glamour shot of me with my flute!

TTYL Robbin

SORRY!!!!! Age 12

2008-10-02T21:51:00.001-04:00

Not that much sleep is loss of these pics, but they just don't seem to get any better so I will continue my self-inflicted abuse!

I bought a stroller!

2008-09-28T15:01:00.007-04:00

Thanks to Tami for sending me to mamabargaincom. I am sure I didn't need to buy anything, I've spent so much on Ebay that I can no longer account for the packages arriving at the door. I have purchased all of my big ticket item, except my biggest ticket item -- Nursery furniture! I am hoping Grandma will want to buy that.

Anyway, I digress. I haven't done as much research on strollers as I did on the high chair, but I did know that this time, I wasn't asking any of my friends for their opinions! I knew that I wanted it to be able to move easily over smooth surfaces and rough surfaces. I doubt that I needed off roading or all-terrain because clearly, I will not be doing much of that :). I also wanted something that wasn't too bulky, lightweight and easy to maneuver with ONE hand and thanks to the advice of Christina, it needs to fold UP to me. I guess it is stupid that most strollers you collapse and it falls to the ground. So now you have baby in hand and you are trying to bend over and balance the baby while lifting it up. Of course I wasn't looking for the most expensive but not the cheapest either. I wanted something durable that would work for more than one year. I had really been eyeing the Maclaren strollers. They seem to be the most popular, lightweight, umbrella step-up. And it really is a NAME BRAND umbrella stroller. For $100.00 plus. I knew I didn't want the old school style all in one with ducks and stuff. I really wanted cup holders Somewhere! And lets face it. Ya'll know by now, I want it to not look "baby". So there were a lot of choices with fabulous colors, features, material and of course nice hefty price tags.

So back to mamabargains.com, this place is great, one item a couple times a day for at least half off and these are things you didn't even KNOW you needed LOL. So that's where I found it.

The Micralite Fast Fold. Yes I got the red. It has many of the features I needed and many that I wanted that I didn't get, but this was really a souped up umbrella stroller on steroids. Its not bulky at all. Mine came with the bassinet that you see but I don't expect to get much use out of it. However its a good alternative to a cradle for the little one. It retails at $529. And I got it for $238! Yep I'm crazy. I like it and now that's on e more thing off of my list.

Tell me what you think?

TTYL Robbin

WEEK 12

2008-09-27T14:24:00.001-04:00

Okay well this is it! I have entered the!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My agency is quoting 3-5 months as a wait time for a referral. I am making great strides on the unofficial list. I have made some big decisions regarding my future career and my education. Some by choice, some not. But none the less I believe that everything happens the way it is supposed to. I believe we all have free will and that although our choices may chose the path, what awaits us at the end is not decided by us. I am okay with the "postponement" of things and I am ready to get my little girl home!

TTYL Robbin

11 years old

2008-09-22T10:07:00.001-04:00

Off to junior high! I think that I was able to actually pick my own clothes and hair. But I don't think it got much better. I have to find some middle school class pictures to excite everyone!

TTYL Robbin

Week 11

2008-09-20T17:22:00.002-04:00

Wow..... its all I can say. Time moves forward. Its what happens.... We have no control of it. If I continue to do the things I'm scheduled to do... time will just pass.

TTYL

Robbin

Age 10 -- I don't know what to say!

2008-09-15T18:18:00.004-04:00

Home from Atlanta and miscellaneous happenings

2008-09-14T14:21:00.008-04:00

This weekend I went to the wedding of my good friend Kellae to her extra wonderful new husband Kakra G. So I wanted to post a picture of the event. It was at the beautiful Rhodes Hall on Peachtree, and it was a sunset wedding so please forgive the dark pic!

Also I came home to lots of packages! I've been ebaying (yes its a verb), and I got some good deals. I got about 10 Dr. Brown glass bottles, about 5 BPA free bottles, and about 10 Playtex drop in bottles. I plan on using the playtex while in ET and transitioning over to the Dr. Brown's after I get home. I also bought a cute diaper bag from Pottery Barn and a little tennis dress. here is a picture of the bag mine is mint green.

And most importantly I got the SVAN baby bouncer in watermelon and khaki. It retails for 129.00 and I got it NIB (that's Ebay lingo -- New In the Box :), for $56.00 plus shipping. The model pictured is my "son" Junior. He loves it!

TTYL Robbin

Week 10

2008-09-13T08:53:00.004-04:00

Wow, time is passing quickly and now I am getting nervous! I will enter the window in just 2 weeks!!!!!!! I am prepared for referral times to increase. My agency is quoting 3-5 months, and just 3 months ago referrals were coming closer to the earlier part of the timeframe. Now referrals are easily exceeding that timeframe. So I am predicting within one month, the agency will change the referral time to at the very least 4-6 months but more than like 5-7 months. I am not at all stressed by that. I believe my child will be referred to me, despite timeframes and case coordinators, and law changes and regulations, she will be my daughter and I will be her mom.

Not to mention, I take the Bar Exam in February and I don't know why I thought traveling BEFORE that would make ANY SENSE AT ALL!

So my new referral guess: 12/05 (No scientific calculations, its my brother's birthday lol) up from 10/16 (Michigan Sweetest Day lol). With travel week 1 of March!

To all my PAP's (adoption speak: Prospective Adoptive Parent) hang in there, our time is not always the right time. There are greater forces in the universe that contribute (I know weird huh).

TTYL Robbin

more 9

2008-09-10T11:51:00.003-04:00

ok, so the last picture my hair was so long because of extensions! you all realized that right ...(Sorry Julie)! Nope still looking crazy but now I enter the JERRI CURL phase!!!

Robbin

Beautiful Land of Ethiopia

2008-09-09T04:26:00.004-04:00

This is a link for a photographer they was recently visiting Ethiopia in his wife's home town. Please enjoy!

http://www.jongoering.com

TTYL

Robbin

And a close up!

2008-09-08T13:08:00.001-04:00

And a sweater of course

Age 9

2008-09-08T12:41:00.004-04:00

Ok look, these pictures get really really BAD! I mean really bad, So I am going to do them one by one to soften the blow. If you have a weak stomach turn your head now LOL! The first picture is the CLASS PHOTO. So embarrassing myself is not enough, misery LOOOOOOOOOVES company!

I can name just about everyone in this picture. What's really funny is the guys you thought were the studs!

From Left to right

Row 1

Chris Keys

Principal Mattie Mckinney Hatchett

Teacher Jo Davidson

Kareem Boyles

Row 2

???

Detonya Peeples

Bobby Calhoun

Stephen Kennedy (my K boyfriend)

Valencia Cobb

?????

Row 3

????

Kyle Hughes (Stud lol)

Susan Bissett

Alan Rainge

Jesse Lucio

Janet Howe

Ronald Weaver

ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

Row 4

Martin Chavez

Angela Williams

Tu Le

Shamekia Hunt

Tuan Le

Amina Norris

???

Dena Covert

John Collins

Row 5

Jeff Wiscombe (stud)

????

Angela Rodriguez (my best friend)

????

Marlene

Robert Bailey III

Yep, I know just what you wanted to sit thru is a roll call of my 4th grade class mates. But guess what, Its not enough for me to post their pics, I want their NAMES out there too!

TTYL Robbin

Week 9!!!!!!!

2008-09-06T12:39:00.001-04:00

High Chair

2008-09-05T18:15:00.007-04:00

I made my first big purchase today. I bought this very trendy, very functional and very "un-baby" high chair. You see, I really loathe baby looking baby stuff. I don't think it requires all that fluff fluff frill. My style is sort of not quite modern, not quite contemporary -- more "transitional". I really think that my baby stuff should fit within my decor. Of course this has clearly driven my friends MAD!

I have been accused of lots of things during this adoption journey, but none more often than the accusation that: I don't have a clue what I am signing up for. But I think that I have about as much of an understanding as any first time mom. Perhaps more. In searching for every major item -- stroller, crib, highchair, carseat, bottles --- I have reviewed hundreds of reviews, reports and comments. I just wanted to be certain that my Type- A -personality-mind was satisfied with each and every decision.

So the high chair. Like I said, I had a few criteria to fill, I wanted something that wasn't frilly, not plastic, not obtrusive, multi-functional, works well with the table and not a lot of crevices to hold little crumbs and stickies. Needless to say, my list was whittled down quickly. I settled on two: Stokke or Svan. I chose the Svan.

Of course price was a consideration, but not a deciding factor. After seeing that the mid price highchair runs between 100-175.00, I realized that my choices weren't SOOO out of reach. My Svan included the easily removable tray, a dishwasher safe tray cover, and a cushion for $250.00 delivered to my door. It has a very clean look and it doesn't look like a highchair. It fits right at my table and even changes to a toddler chair and can seat an adult.

I'm surprised how few ppl say they used their high chair. When I eat, I eat at the table. I don't agree with eating all over the house. I was not allowed to as a child and it seems that our norms are what we were raised to believe. I've heard a bunch of different places that children are fed at -- carriers, bouncers, carseats, laps, floors -- just seems like a highchair would be a good place to start. But then I am always accused of going against the norms. Just like with this adoption. I am single, not infertile, and parenting by choice.

So yes, I bought an expensive highchair, that doesn't look like a high chair.

And its fabulous.

Here's a picture and no this is not my family lol, but I do love their kitchen.

TTYL Robbin

For your laughing pleasures....

2008-09-02T21:33:00.004-04:00

I'm starting to feel like these are the same pictures. The tweety bird look is the WORSE!!!!!! And of course RED must be my color!

TTYL

Robbin

Wait: That might be the same sweater as a year ago!!!!! Must've been dippin in my brothers closet again!

Baby Mama Drama Queen

Potty Training

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

A year ago today!

My Soapbox Rant

Where does the time go?

Lulu Learned to climb the stairs!

Updating

Hey I'm over here!

Blogging into the future

Thankful

Wordless Wednesday Almost!

Lulu's at it again

photo shoot

Lulu loves money!

cheating

Tomorrow

Wordless Wednesday For Real

Wordless Wednesday

Birthday Thoughts

mycharity: water

National Blog Posting Month

Back!

100 Things

Yay!!!

Faith not Fear

Off to the BAR!

Not Today....

Culmination

Thanks guys!!!

Nervous

Patiently Waiting!

Life lessons

Stand

The call -- My ship has FINALLY come!

REFERRAL!!!!!!!!!

NOT YET

Madonna and Child

Waiting

I'm So Excited

April Fool's

There Is NO Me Without You

Not Angry, Just tired.....

Change?

Its just hair.....

Locs

D!!!*??!*

Where have you been?

Its not class its RACE!!!!

What is the value of a life?

Welcome 2009

Real meaning of Christmas

Dreams

World Aids Day

Blind Faith

Oh Give Thanks

Thank you

Adoption Postponed

Get it while its hot!

OOPS Week 19

Friends

Age 18

oops Sunday post

Week 18

Senior pictures

Age 17 Pics!

Pics Coming!

Well Tupac.....Now we are!

Red or Blue?

Age 17

National Blog Posting Month

Oops Week 16 pictures

week 17

Revelation 3:8

Week 16

Age 15

Week 15

Age 14

Virtual Baby

Week 14

D!!!??!