Thankful

Today is Thanksgiving.   I have so much to say.   Last year on November 19th, 2008, I was told by my agency that Single Parent Adoptions were going to be limited if not stopped all together.  Gladney was going to try to push thru 10 women and I was number 12 on that list!   I mean I was just sickened.  Completely.   This "thing" that I wanted was so close but continued to remain so far away.  I started this process in Feb of 2008 and had been on the wait list since July of 2008.  At this time I had been waiting 4 of an estimated 8 months for my referral.   HALF WAY THERE!!!  If on target I could possibly meet my little baby sometime around March.  Now with the new limitation I was told that I MAY be able to continue the process in October of 09 while some of my friends would have to wait until October 2010 or October 2011

I remember the hysteria around that time.  I remember the feeling of hopelessness, incompleteness and overall sadness.   I remember all of the very kind words from strangers.  I saw so many people searching for a situation and I became a sort of guru of information about who, what, when and where you could go to possibly still be accepted into the ever closing window.  I made my decision immediately.  I would be still and wait until I could hear the voice of God.   I stated very matter of factly to others that despite having other options (domestic) I would stand still until March or April.  And then I would decide.  I spoke to many friends who could not see any good coming out of waiting.  But I didn't have ONE DIME to move to another agency and more than half of my fees had been paid.   I just had to wait.  

On April 1, 2009, I received a call from agency saying we would have a conference call for singles only.  On April 2nd I was told that single parent adoption would be resumed and I was NUMBER 2 on the list waiting for a referral!!!!!! 

And on April 9th I met Lulako Daniso!!

So much fear so much anxiety... but the first glimpse of my beautiful daughter (beautiful now but I wasn't so sure then!)

A lot had to happen to make this a reality.  And for each and EVERY step I am so VERY THANKFUL!!!!!!!

• For the extended wait time... so that I could be matched to THIS little girl
• For the many friends that understood because they were going thru the same thing
• For the family that supported me
• For God for having vision over my life 
  

"They" said it couldn't happen.  But IT DID.  

I am praying today for Celeste  who is still waiting for her girls and for Tami who is still waiting to see her girl.  

But guess what EVERY ONE OF MY SINGLE BUDDY's PULLED IT OFF!!!!

Girls last year was bad...  but this year we are full of thanks and praise!

**** sorry for the late post!!!!

TTYL

Wordless Wednesday Almost!

Come on ppl, I can only work with professionals!  

Lulu's at it again

She apparently doesn't appreciate her Mom's creativity.  See for your self.

Well I had fun!!!!!

Lulu and her Aunt and namesake Rose! (and a little photoshopping by Mom!)

photo shoot

Me and Lulu did an impromptu photo shoot a few weeks back and I just got the proofs.   I called myself photoshopping them before the pro's did their thing, and my friend Arilee brought me back to reality.  Better keep my day job ... oh wait I don't have one LOL.   Anyway here is some of the pics!

TTYL

Lulu loves money!

cheating

I am cheating.... I'm going out tonight and Lulu is having her first sleep over with grandma!!!!  But please check out her blog to see what she's been doing....

www.100percentlulu.blogspot.com

*** congrats Cristina!!!!!!

TTYL

Robbin

Tomorrow

Today has been a hard day.  today I had to face accusations about myself that were not true but there was no real defense.  Sometimes things are done in haste or in error and it can be a very costly mistake to live with.  What surprised me is that I looked over at my angel baby and I knew what mattered most.   I am leaning on the faith that I talk to my friends about.  If not faith, Lord please give me some FAVOR.

That's my post.   Sorry there isn't more to be said :(

Wordless Wednesday For Real

Wordless Wednesday

Birthday Thoughts

In one month Lulu will celebrate her FIRST birthday!!!!!!!  She just has too much stuff already!!!!   So instead of getting gifts, Lulu is going to give them.  Yesterday, I posted our link to clean:water.  It is an awesome organization.  In lieu of gifts, donations are made to clean:water on Lulu's behalf and it is spent to build wells in underprivileged areas.  

Surprisingly, I've met some opposition to this proposal.   Whenever I share with others that Lulu will not be having the traditional first birthday party, I am often given great "cost saving" ideals that would enable me to give her a party.  I've been told that I could give her a party and ask for money instead of gifts -- which to me is like having a wedding and asking for money  (to avoid a huge discussion about that, I will just say that's not my thing); one suggested I go to "the dollar store" and just at least decorate.   I'm not sure what would be the point of spending money when even $20.00 makes a huge difference in a project like this.  Lulu will have a cake event.   Cake, maybe ice cream (a signature drink for her Mom :).  We will take pictures and I'm sure the Grandma's and aunts will come, but we won't do any party favors, or invites, or anything like that.   I don't think that Lulu will remember much.  I believe that special days are important.  I pray that she will certainly have many special days.   I just want them to be special for her!  

More than anything, I know Lulu has all that she needs at this time.   I am blessed to have Lulu but it is because her birth parents did not have all they needed such as medicine and clean water that she is with us today.   Her mother died because of that lack of clean water.  I am mindful of that DAILY!!!  This matters to me, it matters to us and it matters to them.   Giving is not a requirement, I only want people to do what they want to do.  But I really ain't interested in the naysayers :(   

On another note, my sister had a Meet and Greet this weekend for Scotland Rose :)  

TTYL!

mycharity: water

mycharity: water

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National Blog Posting Month

I tried this last year too!!!   But really, with FB its so hard to Blog.  Darn!   I'm gonna try though....

NABLOPOMO

Please if you are still out there.  SAY SOMETHING!!!!   Lulu said she's going to post on her blog too!

Ok anyway.....

Yesterday was Halloween.  We had an absolutely great time!  We had a really long day.  First my sister had  a meet and greet  with her friends (I think we got some pics somewhere).  And then we had a party and Lulu was a bumble bee.  

Here she is with Uncle Charles, cousin Chelsey and Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

TTYL!

Back!

I'm here really!!!   I know its been an awful long time.   So much has happened.   I traveled with my two girlfriends to Ethiopia and picked up my little baby.  My insurance company refused to cover her and I finished school and have no job!   Well I could still sell real estate, so I kind of a job but not it is very very scary!!!!!  I want to blog my trip but I am exhausted!!!!   

I know I owe some of you updates.  I am working on it I promise.  Also, I will be posting about all things Lulu, on her blog www.100percentlulu.blogspot.com.   Now don't rush over there because there is nothing to see!!! But I am on it.  Really... just as soon as I get some sleep.   I am TIRED.

Lulu is the bomb and my family is completely enamored.  I love her dearly but this is a lot of work... I got some adjusting to do.

100 Things

1. food
2. water
3. clean water
4. cell phone
5. internet
6. clean clothes
7. toothpaste
8. money
9. car
10. heat
11. gas
12. love
13. friends
14. strawberry smoothies
15. hummus
16. TV
17. health
18. a good bra
19. pedicure
20. smiles from passing strangers
21. My God Children
22. Lye -- as in the kind you perm your hair with :)
23. Sonya -- my beautician to surgically apply the lye
24. OB Tampons
25. frequent flyer miles
26. Toms Toothpaste
27. Deodorant
28. God
29. Music
30. My Mac
31. 4 inch heels
32. Remote 
33. My Mom
34. Navigation
35. Yellow Legal Pads
36. Sex
37. Eye glasses
38. Instant Messenger
39. White Gap T-shirts
40. Green well worn head scarf
41. Peoples Court
42. Good Books
43. Butter
44. My brother
45. Camera
46. Education
47. Bible
48. Travel
49. Meditation
50. Orange kool-aid with Lemon juice
51. Thongs
52. Two pillows
53. Toilet paper
54. Birth Control Pills
55. Merlot
56. Hell - Any Alcohol!
57. Vision
58. 400 thread count
59. Freedom
60. Google
61. My reputation
62. Dajuan
63. Refrigeration
64. Furnace
65. Fan
66. Power
67. Stimulation conversation
68. Sunglasses
69. Fresh flowers
70. Blogger
71. Conscience
72. Youtube
73. Common Sense
74. Fruit
75. Clean Water
76. Shower
77. Facebook
78. Lulako
79. My Dad
80. People Magazine
81. Pictures
82. A good mattress
83. Blood
84. Insurance
85. Atlas
86. Perfume
87. Good will
88. Rosemary
89. Love
90. Family
91. Martini
92. Peace of Mind
93. All 4 seasons
94. The laughter of children
95. clean water
96. My fellow PAP's
97. Eyebrow Arch
98. Clean water
99. Humanitarian spirit
100. Clean water

Imagine 100 things that you CAN NOT LIVE with out

Now imagine living without ANY of them!

100 Things.... 

can you give 100  -- little/ inexpensive/ insignificant to you  -- things --- 

to someone that doesn't have those things that I can't live without?

I have a daughter in Africa.  I am going to get her in a month.  I am collecting 100 THINGS.... I have lofty goal set to get my baby.  Failure is not an option.  Because at 6 months she has lost more than I will every gain....

100% is the only options.....

More to Follow!

TTYL

Robbin

BTW.... check this out... http://thewaterproject.org/

Yay!!!

INTRODUCING

SCOTLAND ROSE LULAKO HOPKINS

Although this picture is a not the most current pic, its one of my favorites. Its like she is saying.... "um yeah... whatever!"

Yes I passed court. Sorry for the cryptic message in the last post. I felt it was important to post that because I had been working on it but I never finished it. But I wanted everyone to know my Babycakes is headed to the US of A!


Ttyl

Robbin

Faith not Fear

This post was previously written on 6/19/09 but I never finished it

So ya'll know I'm very kool, kalm and kollective right? WRONG... Last week I completely lost it!!!!

See what had happened was .....

I was blessed with this video from Amy E from her travels in early May, and i could never open it. So out of the blue one night Amy gets it fixed up and sends it to me. Now ya'll should know that Catrina is a video maniac and has been waiting on Lulu's video since way before she got her own referral. So any way I open of the video...1 minute and like 3 seconds....and I am completely torn. I mean is this my baby... can this be my daughter? She is so tiny, so helpless. Is she sick... is she OKAY????? I mean Lulu was VERY tiny when I got her referral and she is growing SOOOOOO slowly.

All the thoughts that run thru your head... its just overwhelming. I'm talking 5 days before court and am I really RECONSIDERING!!! SECOND GUESSING!!!! or God forbid REGRETTING?!?!?!?!?!

Can I take care of a sick baby?

Man, i just did not want to think about this. So I just got really really quiet. I think that EVERY parent worries about the health of their baby. Regardless if you give birth to a child or if you adopt a child, the fear of the unknown is VERY great. The problem is this. There are a ton of birth parents that discuss these fears. With their family, their doctor, their friends -- a therapist). They do extra test and obsess over the ultrasounds, they prepare a special diet and stay out of the way of smokers. But adoptive parents, we don't have the luxury of taking all of these precautions. We don't have the luxury of holding our little one and and assessing all the fingers and all the toes. This is obviously the first thing that a mother does after birth (not like she can send Baby back...). We require the same reassurances. So we rely on the monthly reports, the pictures, and the short 1 minute videos. And we assess. I'm telling you... I was not pleased with what I was seeing. I was terrified actually.

Added on 7/02/09

Enter my partner in crime Celeste  . So I reluctantly sent the video to Celeste (not Catrina, she's too perky lol). And Celeste instantly heightened my fears. Celeste and I have made this journey from the beginning and we have had some real heart to heart talks, so we know each others breaking point.

Well to make a long story short, after me and Celeste acted like complete maniacs, enter Valarie.....who traveled across the world to check on my little Lulu!!!

Say Hello to Lulako


Now Riddle me this...........

Off to the BAR!

Now come on guys!!!! STILL ME!


TTYL

Not Today....

I will wait on the Lord Because his timing IS perfect.

Remember him? Well maybe you can appreciate it now!





I am okay ya'll. If I had to pick between my timing and God's I would go for God's all the time. A Rolex that doesn't require a battery. I'm good!!!!


It's coming. Please listen and appreciate!

Culmination

Tomorrow morning will be a culmination of things

Tomorrow morning, a judge will wake up in Addis Ababa Ethiopia and don the honorable Black Robe
Tomorrow morning an uncle will travel many hours to say goodbye forever to the daughter of his brother
Tomorrow morning an agent will plead my case
Tomorrow morning a mother in Heaven will rejoice
Tomorrow morning I will become a mother
Tomorrow morning will be a culmination of things


It is 11:39 a.m. in Addis Ababa Ethiopia. Just one day from now my life will change.
Winds of time will come together. 

Forces bigger than me. 

Forces out of my control...

Eternal forces 

Decide 

Not my agency, not MOWA, not the judge, not the uncle, not me

A force greater than ALL of that.

24 HOURS

1440 MINUTES

86,400 Seconds

And I'll Be Counting EVERYONE!

Thanks guys!!!

Honestly, the expression I laughed I cried... (and I was in class tearing up!)  Just needed to say it.  BTW Tami... you know I got evicted off the island due to not making the income requirements of Island ownership.  But I'm fighting my way back! 

Thanks everyone!

TTYL 

Robbin!