Stand

Enough Said


Robbin

The call -- My ship has FINALLY come!

disclaimer:  Not your typical description, very long, kind of boring, and just pretty odd...

Okay... Sorry it took so long to write this post. I know for me reading about THE CALL is one of my favorite parts. I didn't think I could do it any justice until the shock wore off, but I didn't want to miss the opportunity to share this.

First of all, I must preference this by saying I am a MANIAC about this adoption.  I have a strong ability to retain details and I have sorted all of the possible scenarios of how this referral could actually come about.  I was CERTAIN, my call would come this week... I was almost embarrassed to share it with very many people because I didn't want to seem so certain, but I just knew.  

Anyway, so I usually don't go to school on Thursday but I went to a workshop at school and my mind was not on the phone or the computer.  I got home at 3:00 and I thought to myself... maybe I should email Abbey to ask her if Gladney was going to be open on Friday.  You see I was convinced my call was coming on FRIDAY.  Gladney really likes Friday and now Friday was not a normal business day.  Anyway, I didn't email her.  Let me back up a little.   After hearing that I could be coming close to being matched with a baby, I had emailed Abbey and asked her to email me first in case I wasn't near the phone, then I emailed her again and said maybe you should call me.  She was good about my craziness and told me she would definitely call me because "it's better that way".  

So I'm laying across the bed not particularly feeling anything.  Just eery, quiet and weird.  At 3:57 my phone rang.  817 area code.  I picked it up rather reserved, the call went something like this (yes I am ruining it for those who are waiting lol)

Abbey:  Hi Robbin

Robbin:  Hey Abbey 

very casual, cause you know we talk everyday NOT

Abbey:  How are you Robbin

Robbin: Um... well I don't know Abbey, how are you

Abbey:  Well I think your day is about to get much better... are you near your computer

Clearly Abbey doesn't know me, I sleep with my computer.  Mac is my man.

Robbin:  Its right here Abbey...

Abbey:  I'm sending you an email, let me know when you get, we can open it together.

Insert incessant laughing here.  Delirious insane, Coo coo for Cocoa Pops Laughing

Robbin:  It's here Abbey... Oh Lord, I have a referral

At this point I start thinking....who the Hell is home... I need support!

Abbey:  There are some pictures....

Robbin:  I see them...

Abbey:  Isn't she beautiful

Ummm okay, lets stop right here... she is umm very very NOT what I expected

Abbey:  Robbin?   Are you there

No response, just shock...

Abbey:  Robbin?

Robbin:  Yes Abbey, I'm here

Abbey:  She is 4 months

Email Tami:  "I'm getting a referral"

Tami: What are you emailing for? (of course you're getting a referral what's your point)

Me: No Tami, I'm getting the referral right now...

Abbey:  Robbin are you there.... did you see the little one where she is...

Robbin:  Um Yeah sure...

Email 7 other ppl:   "I'm getting a referral!!!!!"

Abbey:  Okay Robbin I need you to open the second document

Robbin:  Okay Abbey

My phone starts ringing OFF THE HOOK.  

Email Tami:  Why the hell are you calling me??? I'm talking to Abbey

Tami:  I need INFO!!!!

Abbey: Robbin are you there?

Robbin:  Yes Abbey, I see it (whatever IT is)

I know she is saying something.  Maybe its in Amharic.  I can't understand her.  Maybe I need an interpreter.

Google... Amharic interpreter Michigan

Abbey:  Robbin what are you thinking

Robbin:  Honestly Abbey?

Abbey: Yes

Robbin:  I hear a noise so I know you must be talking... but really I hear "wa womp wa womp, wa womp, wa womp" insert Charlie Brown teacher voice  " I am honestly not sure what you are talking about."

Abbey:  Robbin are you okay.

Insert incessant laughing here. Delirious insane, Coo coo for Cocoa Pops Laughing

Abbey:  You will have all of this in writing.  You can review it later.  It can be a lot to absorb.  I'll just keep going if that's okay

Robbin: Um yeah sure

Reviewing about a hundred emails from the same seven maniacs that keep calling my phone and start sending pictures

Tami:  Answer the phone!!!!!!!! Cutie!!!!!!!!! OMGGGGGGGGGcutieeeeeeeeepiiiiiiiiieeeeeeee

Abbey:  Are you  there Robbin

Robbin:  Yes Abbey, are you done?

Abbey: Well... um there is a little more

Robbin:  I have to go now Abbey

Abbey:  Well umm... I really am happy for you, I won't be in tomorrow and......

Emailing, sweating, hyperventilating. Completely not understanding what Abbey is saying... must be Amharic again.

Robbin:  Bye Abbey, have a great Easter, talk to you Monday.  Bye now.  Bye Bye

Abbey:  Um, okay Robbin, have a great weekend.

Call ended 4:27.  39 emails from friends later!

Can I tell you that it was the weirdest and most unplanned reaction, I get that.  It was not at all how I imagined.  And it took me three days before I was ready to even relive the oddity.

More of my reaction to follow.  But I really want to share this song.  Its very very fitting!  

I know People don't always feel like watching the videos, and a lot of times they are reading from a reader or have the volume down, but the song I have going is by an artist name K'jon. It is a TREAT. It means so much to me and my little one. I would love to share it with you!




Sometimes
It feels like
Everything
Is passin' me by
Every now and then
It feels like (feels like)
My ship has gone and sailed away
But I
I gonna be strong (gotta be strong)
Gotta hold on
It won't be too long

Now the tide is coming near
I see the waves flowing
Out there on the ocean
I know my ship is coming in
Just pass the horizon
And right where the sky ends
Cause out there on the ocean
Know my ship is coming in
But don't leave me hanging
I've been waiting to long
But this moment
My ship has finally come

I would travel to the seven seas
(I would even go)
I would even go wherever the wind blows me
(I'll do anything)
I'll do anything to find my destiny
It's like fightin' with gravity
And it's bringin' me down
If this world was really round then tell me how
It's just a moment for you to come around

Now the tide is coming near
I see the waves flowing
Out there on the ocean
I know my ship is coming in (coming in baby)
Just pass the horizon
And right where the sky ends
Cause out there on the ocean
Know my ship is coming in
But don't leave me hanging
I've been waiting to long
But this moment
My ship has finally come

Finally you come (around)
Around, around
I said finally baby

Finally you come (around)
Around, around

Finally you come around, come around baby

Super Duper Thank You to everyone that has reached out to me.  I was NOT prepared for all the support and well wishes.  It is an amazing and overwhelming feeling.  

Thank you for sharing in this journey.  

TTYL 

Robbin

REFERRAL!!!!!!!!!

Today is surreal.   Today is April 9, 2009 and today I saw my daughter's beautiful TINY face!

I will tell about the call later. 

I added music just for the occasion and updated my blog background.  

Oh yeah... she is 4 months old!!!

Lyrics of course.... Lauryn Hill TO GOOD TO BE TRUE!

You're just too good to be true
can't take my eyes off of you
you'd be like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
at long last love has arrived
and I thank God I'm alive
you're just too good to be true
can't take my eyes off of you

Pardon the way that I stare
there's nothing else to compare
the sight of you leaves me weak
there are no words left to speak
but if you feel like I feel
please let me know that it's real
you're just too good to be true
can't take my eyes off of you

chorus:
I need you baby and if it's quite alright
I need you baby to warm the lonely nights
I love you baby, trust in me when I say:ok(its okaay)
Oh pretty baby, don't let me down, I pray
oh pretty baby, now that I've found you, stay
and let me love you, o baby, let me love you, o baby

TTYL

ROBBIN

NOT YET

No really, there has been NO movement.   Minutes feel like hours and hours feel like days.   I can't study.  And I know I have to.

So I picked a really cheesy song.  I know the video doesn't fit, but the words do!

For the life of me
I never thought that it could be
The way it stands right now
Emotions running high
Every night I wish that I
Could tell you how I feel
Those words are here in my heart
Oh but there is just
one missing part
How to put it together
How to say it right
And let you know that
Every night
I'll be dreamin'
Dreamin'
Hoping baby you will be there
I'll be dreamin'
[ Find more Lyrics on www.mp3lyrics.org/SVmc ]
Dreamin'
Hoping baby you will be there
Let me take time out
To try and find out
If this could be real
Cause reality scares me
I've been living a fantasy
How should I feel
Those words are here in my heart
Oh but there is just
one missing part
How to put it together
How to say it right
And let you know that
Every night
I'll be dreamin'
Dreamin'
Hoping baby you will be there
I'll be dreamin'
Dreamin'
Hoping baby you will be there



ttyl

Robbin

Madonna and Child

In case there is some confusion:

This is THE Madonna

And this is Madonna

adoption: a legal proceeding that creates a parent-child relation between persons not related by blood; the adopted child is entitled to all privileges belonging to a natural child of the adoptive parents

There is no different definition given for those that aren't the "normal" adoptive parents...I don't understand people that rally only for the rights and privileges of those that seem "normal".  I am a Black single heterosexual PAP (prospective adoptive parent), I don't want to be judged by the married folks that don't think its important for singles to adopt, nor do I want to judge those that are homosexual trying to adopt, or even judge those adopting transracially.  Because judgment is judgment.  

judgment:  generally refers to the considered evaluation of evidence in the formation of making a decision

Honestly, I am disappointed in the people that were happy to see Madonna's adoption denied.  Of course everyone preferenced their opinion by stating that they were absolutely not in judgment.  No one would ever say their true reason for being against Madonna adopting this little girl.  

Is it Racism?  - Are you opposed to it because of the transracial aspects.

Is it Classism? -Are you opposed to it because you believe that Madonna used her money to bully her way thru the system

Is it Religious Intolerance? - Does your religion give you Carte Blanche to decide who is and isn't worthy?

I think its just pure Judgism...  Yep I made it up.  How ridiculous to assume that money is enough to make the stresses of adoption any easier?  So it gets you to the front of the line.  But it is still as stressful and heartfelt an experience as any PAP feels when desiring to grow their family.   How ridiculous to assume its done for publicity or due to some trend... Really the same money that got her to the front of the line, could have easily bought her a few schools in underdeveloped areas with her name on them, that's publicity.  She certainly could have used that same money to find a less public situation with a more accommodating official just to get her a "matching" kid.  Nope, she returned to the country that gave her the wonderful son, that she loves dearly and has with her whenever she is seen out publicly who has clearly enhanced her life.  She returned to Malawi.   She did her homestudy, she did her embassy clearances, she paid her fees to get before the judge (while spending many more dollars in the country), she REQUESTED a waiver and she was denied.  

Who gets to judge?  Certainly not the same people that have stood or will stand before a decision maker asking for the same consideration -- an opportunity to parent a child.  Because after all, who has really earned it?  If only AP's and PAP's would stand up for the ideal of parenting by adoption and not the ideal of parenting by adaption.  I'm not trying to fit the "norm" I trying  to be a Mom. 

If Madonna had "just" got pregnant, she could've saved herself a lot of headaches.  Shame on her for not picking a more established program -- like Ethiopia  to get a healthy infant as young as possible.  Nope shame on her for trying to adopt a 4 year old ORPHAN.   How dare she, who the hell does she think she is.   Using her money and status to take a child away from her home...

I am so very confused.   

God bless Mercy... Or is it Lord Have Mercy

Ok, todays selection has a double meaning.   Absolutely better include the lyrics because you have to get past all those preconceived Madonna feelings to appreciate this one....

Ive had other guys
Ive looked into their eyes
But I never knew love before
til you walked through my door
Ive had other lips
Ive sailed a thousand ships
But no matter where I go
Youre the one for me baby this I know, cause its

Chorus:

True love
Youre the one Im dreaming of
Your heart fits me like a glove
And Im gonna be true blue baby I love you

Ive heard all the lines
Ive cried oh so many times
Those tear drops they wont fall again
Im so excited cause youre my best friend
So if you should ever doubt
Wonder what love is all about
Just think back and remember dear
Those words whispered in your ear, I said

No more sadness, I kiss it good-bye
The sun is bursting right out of the sky
I searched the whole world for someone like you
Dont you know, dont you know that its

Honestly not trying to piss anyone off... April Fools... You know I don't really care about pissing anyone off.

TTYL

Robbin

Waiting

Continuing with my very subtle hints by way of a musical parade. 

Nothing much to report here...

I give you this Green Day hint hit.




FOR  ANYONE I MAY HAVE LEFT BEHIND WITH THIS HINT.... THE LYRICS LOL!


I've been waiting for a long time
For this moment to come
I'm destined
For anything...at all
Downtown lights will be shining
On me like a diamond
Ring out under the midnight hour
No one can touch me now
And I can't turn my back
It's too late ready or not at all

I'm so much closer than
I have ever known...
Wake up

Dawning of a new era
Calling...don't let it catch you falling
Ready or not at all
So close enough to taste it
Almost...I can embrace this
Feeling....on the tip of my tongue

I'm so much closer than
I have ever known...
Wake up
Better thank your lucks stars....

I've been waiting for a life time
For this moment to come
I'm destined for anything at all

Dumbstruck
Colour me stupid
Good luck
You're gonna need it
Where I'm going if I get there...
At all....

Wake up
Better thank your lucky stars....

That's all I can say.... For now....

TTYL

Robbin

I'm So Excited

Since I'm limited with what I can tell you... I will serenade you in song. Don't be trying to guess LOL. And naw this ain't April Fool's. When I have something to tell ya, I will!


POINTER SISTERS!!!!! I'm So excited.... I'm about to lose control and I think I like it!



TTYL


Robbin

April Fool's

Today I played the best April Fool's joke on my FB friends and fam.  And now I feel really bad because I have to tell them I was just kidding......

I even had family calling me from out of town...

But I did get some great news today... no joke.   And Babycakes may be right around the corner.

I'll keep you posted

TTYL 

Robbin