Saturday, April 4, 2009

Madonna and Child

In case there is some confusion:

This is THE Madonna

And this is Madonna

adoption: a legal proceeding that creates a parent-child relation between persons not related by blood; the adopted child is entitled to all privileges belonging to a natural child of the adoptive parents

There is no different definition given for those that aren't the "normal" adoptive parents...I don't understand people that rally only for the rights and privileges of those that seem "normal".  I am a Black single heterosexual PAP (prospective adoptive parent), I don't want to be judged by the married folks that don't think its important for singles to adopt, nor do I want to judge those that are homosexual trying to adopt, or even judge those adopting transracially.  Because judgment is judgment.  

judgment:  generally refers to the considered evaluation of evidence in the formation of making a decision

Honestly, I am disappointed in the people that were happy to see Madonna's adoption denied.  Of course everyone preferenced their opinion by stating that they were absolutely not in judgment.  No one would ever say their true reason for being against Madonna adopting this little girl.  

Is it Racism?  - Are you opposed to it because of the transracial aspects.

Is it Classism? -Are you opposed to it because you believe that Madonna used her money to bully her way thru the system

Is it Religious Intolerance? - Does your religion give you Carte Blanche to decide who is and isn't worthy?

I think its just pure Judgism...  Yep I made it up.  How ridiculous to assume that money is enough to make the stresses of adoption any easier?  So it gets you to the front of the line.  But it is still as stressful and heartfelt an experience as any PAP feels when desiring to grow their family.   How ridiculous to assume its done for publicity or due to some trend... Really the same money that got her to the front of the line, could have easily bought her a few schools in underdeveloped areas with her name on them, that's publicity.  She certainly could have used that same money to find a less public situation with a more accommodating official just to get her a "matching" kid.  Nope, she returned to the country that gave her the wonderful son, that she loves dearly and has with her whenever she is seen out publicly who has clearly enhanced her life.  She returned to Malawi.   She did her homestudy, she did her embassy clearances, she paid her fees to get before the judge (while spending many more dollars in the country), she REQUESTED a waiver and she was denied.  

Who gets to judge?  Certainly not the same people that have stood or will stand before a decision maker asking for the same consideration -- an opportunity to parent a child.  Because after all, who has really earned it?  If only AP's and PAP's would stand up for the ideal of parenting by adoption and not the ideal of parenting by adaption.  I'm not trying to fit the "norm" I trying  to be a Mom. 

If Madonna had "just" got pregnant, she could've saved herself a lot of headaches.  Shame on her for not picking a more established program -- like Ethiopia  to get a healthy infant as young as possible.  Nope shame on her for trying to adopt a 4 year old ORPHAN.   How dare she, who the hell does she think she is.   Using her money and status to take a child away from her home...

I am so very confused.   

God bless Mercy... Or is it Lord Have Mercy

Ok, todays selection has a double meaning.   Absolutely better include the lyrics because you have to get past all those preconceived Madonna feelings to appreciate this one....

Ive had other guys
Ive looked into their eyes
But I never knew love before
til you walked through my door
Ive had other lips
Ive sailed a thousand ships
But no matter where I go
Youre the one for me baby this I know, cause its


True love
Youre the one Im dreaming of
Your heart fits me like a glove
And Im gonna be true blue baby I love you

Ive heard all the lines
Ive cried oh so many times
Those tear drops they wont fall again
Im so excited cause youre my best friend
So if you should ever doubt
Wonder what love is all about
Just think back and remember dear
Those words whispered in your ear, I said

No more sadness, I kiss it good-bye
The sun is bursting right out of the sky
I searched the whole world for someone like you
Dont you know, dont you know that its

Honestly not trying to piss anyone off... April Fools... You know I don't really care about pissing anyone off.




  1. I agree. Everyone should have to follow the law but I'm always amazed at the people who automatically assume the worst about celebrity they automatically get whatever they want and don't have to follow the rules. Ugh!

    I loved your April Fools joke - you really got people good. I can't wait to officially see your good news posted!

  2. AMEN!! Thank you for saying this so eloquently!

    I will add... who is there to judge in this situation. THE JUDGE! And he did.

    I try to remember (admittedly some days it is harder than others) .. It is not my God given place on this earth, nor is it my chosen profession to pass judgment on another.

    Voice in head (Ok, I should write that on my mirror cause lately it's getting harder...)

  3. I think that if Madonna wants to adopt again and again, let her...I think there is nothing wrong with it!! But, she should definitely have to abide by the same laws you or I would have to!! I like your new word...judgism, good one:-)

  4. it's sad for david who (may) not have a malawian sib and it's sad for mercy who (may) end up in challenging circumstances by remaining where is...though, yes, celebrities should still follow the same channels, in this case i think she should have been allowed to do it. again. sigh. maybe it'll be overturned.

  5. Great post. I'm tired of all of the judgment that everyone passes on Madonna, on those adopting internationally vs. is annoying. I do believe celebrities should have to follow the same rules, but it would have been great for an exception to be granted seeing as it was an older child, she already has a son and has a yearly plan of action. Hopefully, they will reconsider.

  6. Ditto to everything. Madonna's harshest critics are always people who have never and will never adopt - and thereby, they have no idea what they are talking about, other than spouting talking points they've read elsewhere.

    I don't think anyone should be able to bypass a country's requirements, but obviously there are different circumstances in Madonna's case.

    I also don't understand why people judge Madonna so fiercely while praising Angelina. They need to consider where their bias is coming from.

  7. Hey Robbin, I found you on the Gladney FBI list. So glad I found your blog. I love to read your thoughts. :)

  8. Okay, I'm swinging on another branch on the tree (that's because someone just call my home phone and when I told them they had the wrong number, they called me a monkey, and then hung up)!

    I don't think Madonna should adopt right now. I think she should sit herself down somewhere in a corner and do some soul searching that comes after a divorce. Can't nobody be that "untouched" from an intimate relationship that is no more...nope, not buying into that one bit!

    I am not judging...just discerning. Ol'girl needs to investigate herself emotionally and get real with the fact that she "ain't above issues" with herself. Personally, she needs healing --- then, if she wants to have Jon-&-Kate-plus-8 multiplied by Octomom's household, I say, "Go Madonna, it's ya birthday, get your strollers on."

    But before then, I am happy the courts have said no for now., if ya'll excuse me while I go swing on some more branches...and star-sixtynine the prank caller...

  9. You are so funny girl with the April fools comment. Thanks for commenting on my blog. I didn't know you also wrote an article about M. Thanks for the encouraging comment. I also do not understand why people, especially other PAP's can't come from a place of "seek first to understand" not " Seek first to Judge". What can you do other than seek support from great people like you and just live with what you know is right.

    Preach on!