Sunday, April 11, 2010

Potty Training

I made the decision that I would start potty training when Lulu started walking.  She started taking steps a few weeks ago at daycare but would never walk at home.  We finally caught her on video.  
So yes finally at 15 months, I have a walker.  Which means I have a pottier!!!  
I still think of Lulu as my little infant.  I have a hard time embracing that she is a toddler and yet she cracks me up EVERYDAY with her "big-girl ways".  So today we went to visit my sister who is recovering from surgery.  Although we know we should go more often :( we go at least once a week and always on Sunday.  While I am there if I have to change her diaper I change her on the guest bathroom floor.  Now let me say that Lulu is ALWAYS changed on her changing table at home.  We NEVER change anywhere else in the house.  It's just easier to do it where all the tools are.  So being changed on the floor is out of the norm.  

ANYWAY...we were chillin at my sister's house and she noticed Lulu was possibly pooping.  And a quick whiff of the room confirmed it.  So I tell Lulu to get me a diaper (jokingly) and she toddles over to the door near her diaper bag but then crawls off.  I say to my sister and Mom that if she gets her diaper she is getting potty trained TODAY.   Well she doesn't but guess what she does do...  She crawled down the hall and went into the bathroom.  AND LAID ON THE FLOOR.   I was completely dumbfounded!!!!  SHE IS READY!!!!! Listen if a kid can get a diaper, or go to the place where they are normally changed then they are ready to start potty training.  

See what happens in Black culture is you are PRESSURED into potty training.  Everyone's parents tell you that YOU were potty trained at like 11 months lol.  Clearly if you investigate the story you will find that you were probably 25 months old, but they will have you believe that you were much younger.  So you have everyone ask you... "is she potty training".  and EVERYONE is a professional, they can do it in just 3 hours or something ridiculous.   I don't share those aspirations lol.   

So here are my rules

1.  I am doing the potty training.  Not the childcare provider, not grandma, not the lady down the street.  ME!
2.  I am potty training on the weekends only.  I will not try to force her to use the potty during the 1 hour we get after I am off work and before she goes to bed
3.  I am setting a personal time goal.  I am not saying what that is.  But she is 15 months now....
4.  I am not using pull ups.  Nope, that's retarded.  (imho).  We are using panties.   She will feel it and so will I lol.
5.  We are increasing our sign language skills to ease into our communication of the language of potty
6.  This is not a competition... and I am not looking for a shortcut.
7.  We are using the potty chair for the purpose of potty training only but will be using the standard size toilet after this
8.  I use cloth diapers primarily at home and will continue to use them for the period of potty training.

And without further ado.....

I present, Lulu's first time peeing on the toilet.



Friday, April 9, 2010

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

On November 19, 2008, after being on the wait list for over 4 months, I received the devestating news that Ethiopia was closing to singles in the future and at the very least they would limit the number of single parents allowed to adopt. I remember the feeling of hopelessness. I also remember the many stories of success that happened just because we all just stood on FAITH!!!!! Let me tell you the road was TOUGH!!!!! But I was stuck, I couldn't move. Even if I wanted to. I just had to stand still and let God move around me :)

Fast forward to April 1st, 2009. Still at a stand still not knowing what would happen, but still in good spirits (remember my April Fool's engagement post?) On this day, I would have been officially waiting for a referral for 9 months but on hold for 5 of those months. Watching others as they received MY referral, for MY baby. Anyway, I get this very random email from Gladney stating there would be a MANDATORY conference call from singles. THEN, I get a phone call asking if I received the email. Um Yeah. So I call all my single buddies and we synchronize our watches and I head to the restaurant with a "friend".

Sitting there with that really queasy feeling in my stomach I listen with a dropped jaw as Gladney announces they are RESUMING adoptions for singles and we would "fall back into place" on the official wait list. At this point I HUNG UP!!!! LOL. The call was clearly not over. I just HUNG UP. I tried to call my single buddies who clearly had NOT hung up. Then I walked out the resident, set on the curb, and started crying. I was BROKE! My job in real estate had come to a crashing halt, I had school issues, I mean I really had no way of moving forward. NO WAY!!! I was torn. Happy/ Sad. Happy because I wanted a baby; sad because I had no way to make it happen. DAMN.

Somehow I made it thru the dinner and flew home so that I could put on my forensic hat. I am definitely a forensic blogger, with complete adoption insight (one friend even calls me the adoption-whisperer lol). I stared at the unofficial list and had to say DAMN again. The average wait time is 8 months. I've been waiting for 9 months. WHAT THE HELL! I pulled out my contract to see what the bare minimum amount of money I would have to have (remember I was expecting to get the call in OCTOBER). I found a itty bitty conflict and was like "cool, I can pay half!". Hmmmmmm, I don't have half but at least that is half of what I don't have lol. I called all my adopting friends and then I called Arilee, my unofficial adoption consultant. And then I prayed.

Now around the same time my mother had liquidated a ton of investments because she lost so much money in the stock market and she asked me to take her to the credit union to reinvest the money. I did and I took that as the time to tell her that I was indeed back in the mix for a referral. Of course like most non-adopters, this meant NOTHING. It was over 15 months in this process and everyone was OVER IT! LOL. I went on about my business while trying to contain my uncertainty and GLEE. I told my friends. "NEXT THURSDAY" for me. Those that were not as CONNECTED... made their predictions, for me and for themselves. Catrina and I spent COUNTLESS hours on the phone OBSESSING!!!

Ok is the anticipation building lol.... 8 DAYS LATER.... on April 9th I left school came home and laid across my bed. The house was calm and I was alone. Just like I wanted it. I called Catrina and said "Today". and then I laid there in peace. At 3:52 p.m. my phone rang.

I picked up the phone and in true multitasking fashion, I managed to listen, open an email, email 11 ppl and text 3 ppl. All in ONE MINUTE!!!!!!

And then I wrote this:

me: April 9, 2009 3:57:35 PM EDT I'm getting a referral!

me: April 9, 2009 4:07:10 PM EDT I HAVE A DAUGHTER

me: April 9, 2009 4:08:11 PM


email back the number I can call you all on!


ME: i'm on the phone with Abbey I just sent the referral to you

Tami: Answer your damn phone! Call me! Send me pictures! Wtf?!!!!!!!!

me: i sent it!!!

Tami: Beeatch!!!!!! Answer the phone!!!!!!!! Cutie!!!!!!!!! OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG cutieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee piiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Me: I'm ON THE PHONE WITH ABBEY!!! literally she is talking I don't know what the fuck she is

saying lol!

Okay you get the picture right!

It went on for HOURS!!!!! This is what I saw:

I can not tell you that it was all happy praise. From me or from some others. This baby was so tiny, her head SOOOOO big. But after some real heart to heart conversations with those close to me and to God, I proceeded. With the help of a gift from my mom and some great gifts from friends (Thanks Celeste and Deb!), I proceeded forward.

It has been ONE YEAR since I first saw her face. And today I still never tire of seeing it!

A year ago today!

A year ago today I fell in love with an angel. It was such a long journey to get here but faith helped me make it thru. I have some pics to post but I'm away from my computer.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this baby.

More to post Later!