Friday, April 9, 2010

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

On November 19, 2008, after being on the wait list for over 4 months, I received the devestating news that Ethiopia was closing to singles in the future and at the very least they would limit the number of single parents allowed to adopt. I remember the feeling of hopelessness. I also remember the many stories of success that happened just because we all just stood on FAITH!!!!! Let me tell you the road was TOUGH!!!!! But I was stuck, I couldn't move. Even if I wanted to. I just had to stand still and let God move around me :)

Fast forward to April 1st, 2009. Still at a stand still not knowing what would happen, but still in good spirits (remember my April Fool's engagement post?) On this day, I would have been officially waiting for a referral for 9 months but on hold for 5 of those months. Watching others as they received MY referral, for MY baby. Anyway, I get this very random email from Gladney stating there would be a MANDATORY conference call from singles. THEN, I get a phone call asking if I received the email. Um Yeah. So I call all my single buddies and we synchronize our watches and I head to the restaurant with a "friend".

Sitting there with that really queasy feeling in my stomach I listen with a dropped jaw as Gladney announces they are RESUMING adoptions for singles and we would "fall back into place" on the official wait list. At this point I HUNG UP!!!! LOL. The call was clearly not over. I just HUNG UP. I tried to call my single buddies who clearly had NOT hung up. Then I walked out the resident, set on the curb, and started crying. I was BROKE! My job in real estate had come to a crashing halt, I had school issues, I mean I really had no way of moving forward. NO WAY!!! I was torn. Happy/ Sad. Happy because I wanted a baby; sad because I had no way to make it happen. DAMN.

Somehow I made it thru the dinner and flew home so that I could put on my forensic hat. I am definitely a forensic blogger, with complete adoption insight (one friend even calls me the adoption-whisperer lol). I stared at the unofficial list and had to say DAMN again. The average wait time is 8 months. I've been waiting for 9 months. WHAT THE HELL! I pulled out my contract to see what the bare minimum amount of money I would have to have (remember I was expecting to get the call in OCTOBER). I found a itty bitty conflict and was like "cool, I can pay half!". Hmmmmmm, I don't have half but at least that is half of what I don't have lol. I called all my adopting friends and then I called Arilee, my unofficial adoption consultant. And then I prayed.

Now around the same time my mother had liquidated a ton of investments because she lost so much money in the stock market and she asked me to take her to the credit union to reinvest the money. I did and I took that as the time to tell her that I was indeed back in the mix for a referral. Of course like most non-adopters, this meant NOTHING. It was over 15 months in this process and everyone was OVER IT! LOL. I went on about my business while trying to contain my uncertainty and GLEE. I told my friends. "NEXT THURSDAY" for me. Those that were not as CONNECTED... made their predictions, for me and for themselves. Catrina and I spent COUNTLESS hours on the phone OBSESSING!!!

Ok is the anticipation building lol.... 8 DAYS LATER.... on April 9th I left school came home and laid across my bed. The house was calm and I was alone. Just like I wanted it. I called Catrina and said "Today". and then I laid there in peace. At 3:52 p.m. my phone rang.

I picked up the phone and in true multitasking fashion, I managed to listen, open an email, email 11 ppl and text 3 ppl. All in ONE MINUTE!!!!!!

And then I wrote this:

me: April 9, 2009 3:57:35 PM EDT I'm getting a referral!

me: April 9, 2009 4:07:10 PM EDT I HAVE A DAUGHTER

me: April 9, 2009 4:08:11 PM


email back the number I can call you all on!


ME: i'm on the phone with Abbey I just sent the referral to you

Tami: Answer your damn phone! Call me! Send me pictures! Wtf?!!!!!!!!

me: i sent it!!!

Tami: Beeatch!!!!!! Answer the phone!!!!!!!! Cutie!!!!!!!!! OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG cutieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee piiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Me: I'm ON THE PHONE WITH ABBEY!!! literally she is talking I don't know what the fuck she is

saying lol!

Okay you get the picture right!

It went on for HOURS!!!!! This is what I saw:

I can not tell you that it was all happy praise. From me or from some others. This baby was so tiny, her head SOOOOO big. But after some real heart to heart conversations with those close to me and to God, I proceeded. With the help of a gift from my mom and some great gifts from friends (Thanks Celeste and Deb!), I proceeded forward.

It has been ONE YEAR since I first saw her face. And today I still never tire of seeing it!


  1. wow I got goose bumpts reading this and a tears in my eyes! Girl amazing what a year can do. Mrs. LULU has no idea!!!! of all the conversations that took place while her but sat in ET laughing at us!!! lol lol

    Congrats Robbin and Scotland Rose!

    love ya


  2. Love you and Ms. Scotland Rose!

  3. Robbin:

    This post brought tears to my eyes. :)
    May GOD continue to BLESS you and Ms. LuLu.


    BTW-I emailed you; did you receive it?

  4.'s been a year! And to think, the delay and the past up referals were all necessary to get Miss Lulu to you!!!!!! Love you both!

  5. GREAT post!! Beautiful daughter, worth every second of the wait!!!

  6. Ahhhhhh Robbin, this and the last one have been your absolute best post. I feel a story(book) coming on. This is how it was to be and you got the baby that was perfect for you.