Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Revelation 3:8

I know your deeds.  See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut.  I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name.  (NIV)

My friends, you may have noticed that my post have been limited to the count down and my pictures.  One of my friends in Texas is a reader of my blog and she asked me to PLEASE write a decent post.  I realized that I am just waiting... waiting .... waiting.....   And I have been quiet.  Very quiet.   I have been struggling with some very scary life events.  Situations that good or bad can be hurtful, disappointing, and embarrassing.  I have been quiet for the fear that if I open my mouth I will be unable to find my voice.  To explain. To ask for forgiveness. To ask for help.

2008 has been a doozy!   Anyone close to me knows that I have hidden my head in the sand refusing to deal with some very hurtful acts of betrayal.  But, with the prayers of some very close friends and some very wise strangers, I moved into a different phase of my life.  I moved forward in my dreams to become a mommy.  I know many people were shocked when I made this decision, but I thank God that EVERYONE close to me has accepted and are excited about where I am.

Unfortunately, although God holds our future, and knows what will become, we are given freewill and are actions, inactions and reactions will have consequences.   Despite God's greatest hopes for us to seek his face and follow him and allow him to direct our paths, often we take our own route.  And for that we will have consequences.   If only we could say "Lord, I'm sorry, my bad...." and all of the repercussions would be erased, wouldn't that be magnificent?  What I do know is that no matter what... it will all turn out for good, according to God's purpose and plan.

In the coming days, I am faced with the repercussions of my own actions, inactions, and reactions.  There was a point where I had given up and things were left uncared for and unresolved.  It has put in jeopardy somethings that I worked hard to achieve.  

I am a very talkative person, and I have rarely met a stranger.  I had the opportunity to have two completely different conversations recently that made an impact on my outlook.   The first conversation happened when I changed my insurance policy.  The agent that helped me was as chatty as me and very witty.  He kept me on the phone for 2 HOURS!   And somewhere in there I decided to share with him a secret that I have not shared with many people.  I don't have any ideal why.  I also shared with him that I was adopting a child.  Well later on in another conversation, the same guy was teasing me about my secret and I was pretty down about it and he told me that my future was already set and that I had to have endurance because "endurance is when the competition gives up and you are competing against yourself."   It was just what I needed to hear.  It just amazes me that God brings ppl in your life to be ready and in place to give you the motivation to keep moving forward.

The second conversation was with a girl that called about renting a property that I own.   Now the Michigan market is horrible and some landlords will rent to anybody.   I am blessed with a family that is very supportive of my ventures and I have been able to be more picky.  It hasn't been the most financially satisfying decision but it has been a well thought out one.  Anyway, so this girl starts telling me her story and I know almost immediately that I would not be able to rent to her.  But her name sounded familiar and I asked her if she knew me and although she didn't recognize my name, I knew who she was and she was actually a friend of mine in elementary.  I remember as a little girl that she had a really hard life so when she told me her story sadly it wasn't much different from what I expected.  She started to tell me why she was moving and how her landlord was going into foreclosure and yet still collecting rent and had filed for a money judgment against her in court.  I work as an extern in the court and I gave her detailed instructions on how to get back in front of the judge to resolve her situation.  She seemed grateful and shared with me that she was a single mom to 3 children but fighting to take custody of her 20 year old sister's infant twin sons.   Her sister had 6 children, the first died of SIDs and the others are 5, 3, 1 and the twin 2 month old boys.  They are now in foster care because of some injuries to the 5 year old.  The young lady works as a manager at KFC and had a very tight budget but yet she wanted desperately to try to get her nephews out of the system.  I was amazed by her tenacity.  I ended the conversation with the resolve that I will use my gifts to help others.  I will remember to speak for those that are ignored not because of what they say but how they say it.   I was challenged by her.  And I was reminded of my own struggle, to find my own tenacity.

In the coming days I am struggling with remembering that God holds my fate.  That God determines my path.  I must remind myself that he is the ultimate decision maker and what others may perceive as an opportunity to shut a door is NOTHING because God opened the door.   I must remind myself that my gifts are to be used to help others.  And that they will not be taken from me because they were given to me by God.

When I wake up in the middle of the night, afraid of what awaits me, I must remind myself that God has told me to fear not.  For each and every day, he has told me to FEAR NOT.  And it appears 365 times in the Bible.   Once for each day.  How magnificent is that?

 Its been a long time since I reached out  and I apologize if this post seem coded.   I ask all of my friends that read this to please pray with me and for me, that my situation will be settled in the coming days.  And that I remember to FEAR NOT.  




  1. I will pray with you and pray for you, Robbin. Waiting is the hardest part! Some days it's pure torture.

    Great post!

  2. Hey Robbin, I am non early so the conneciton does not fail me. Wow I wish I was home so we can talk, but I know some times silence cn be your best friend. I am praying for.......Yes the messages is very coded, but we need not have it in black and white to put you on the prayer is something to keep you going as it keeps me going.

    If you pray don't worry.
    If you worry don't pray.

    Things have a way of working themselves out I have learned in my yrs here on earth, and whats going to be is going to be.

    You have a gift of listening to others and their problems and looking at ALL angles when it comes to other and their problems, from what I have gathered in our conversations, and you don't meet people like that everyday, who don't tell you what you want to hear. So I know you will work it out......I have faith and believe you will.....take care my friend...


  3. I will pray for Robbin - you are a beautiful child of God. You have many who will band with you in prayer.


  4. Sending hugs and positive thoughts your way...

  5. Robbin, you will come to know how much I needed this post this morning. Thank you for giving me the words of comfort, encouragement, and faith that I needed to make it into this day. FEAR not, SPEAK up, GIVE from the heart and WALK into the promises of the all knowing God who directs our paths. That is the message and lesson I am taking today. I may have to return several times this week to re-read this post. Hang in there!

  6. Hang in there, girl. You will get exactly where you need to go, even if its not on the road you expected to travel or in the time-frame you anticipated. Call me ANYTIME if you want to talk.

  7. So sorry that you are having such a struggle. This too shall pass. Sending you prayers and hope....trice

  8. Robbin,

    Thank you for your post. Fear not. Celebrate this day. I mean really celebrate. We are all human. Oh my gosh as a parent - well the humaness gets even bigger! But never despair. Celebrate every human moment of it.

    You are in my prayers.

  9. Robbin, what seems to be "a coded message" is just what the LORD desires when we, HIS intercessors lie before HIM in prayer for you.

    We don't need to know the meaning, nor the details, all we need to know is that HE who began a good work in you is able to complete it!

    Thank you for this post, it helped me to realize how great our GOD is and that we have an Advocate, Jesus Christ who is making intercession on our behalf.

    Stay Encouraged as you trust HIM!

  10. Excellent Post! Girl you know I know where things are lying & I told you it will be ok. Just remember my mom's creedo which I have adopted..."know who you are & who's you are!!"

    thinking of you & i'll call u soon so PICK UP THE PHONE!!

    Your friend from Texas - well from Tx via MI!

  11. Robbin,
    You are in my prayers. Remember nothing is too big for God to handle. You can defeat this Giant as well. That song Giants says a lot. It is the first song on my blog for a reason. We all have Giants in our lives. Don't fear. He hears you, just keep talking to him and things will work out.

  12. Thinking about you. Fear Not should be everyone's new mantra!

  13. Robbin,

    We are here only by His grace and mercy. If we never make mistakes how can God use us to bless someone else who has fallen? I don't know your situation but I know without a test there is no testimony. He is preparing you through whatever you're going through to reach a greater height than you're even expecting..but it can only take place through brokeness, humbleness, and humiliation. He will place you in situations where he will be able to mold and use you for the purpose he has long destined for you. You are already blessed!

    Stay strong my sister...

    You are in my prayers..

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  15. just happened to come across your blog. first, i want you to know i really needed to read it! my sister and i often talk about the choices each of us make...and the consequences that may follow. don't beat yourself up...we've all had struggles and we've all made mistakes. we serve a LORD that is awesome. HE loves us, HE forgives us, HE gives us direction...and HE is the all knowing! robbin...i will pray for you and with you. may our LORD help you and give you peace beyond understanding...may you keep your sights on HIM. GOD bless you.

    In Christ,


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  17. some how my comment appeared 6 times. very sorry. i think my computer got stuck....or something. hope that makes you laugh. i'm not good at all this computer stuff. i will hit publish comment only 1 time!

  18. Robbin,

    I am so with you. It is amazing how God works. I needed to read this post today and remember to Fear Not. You guys have given me so much encouragement, just know that we are here praying with and for you. By his Grace and Mercy we are here and it will all work out in the end. Hugs!

  19. you will be in my prayers...sorry that you are going through your struggles.

  20. Robbin,
    You are in my prayers......