I started blogging to get me thru this maze called adoption and it has proved to be a very fruitful journey! I love blogging. And I love my blog friends. I love what this blog has represented for me. I started this journey alone and now I have gained friends, family and my wonderful daughter.
I am very blessed and I want to keep blogging but more about Lulu and my relationship and the trials of being a single mother instead of being a single woman trying to adopt a child. I hope that you all will visit us on our new site. 100percentlulu.
I'm not sure what the topics will be but I want want to keep blogging!!!!
Today is Thanksgiving. I have so much to say. Last year on November 19th, 2008, I was told by my agency that Single Parent Adoptions were going to be limited if not stopped all together. Gladney was going to try to push thru 10 women and I was number 12 on that list! I mean I was just sickened. Completely. This "thing" that I wanted was so close but continued to remain so far away. I started this process in Feb of 2008 and had been on the wait list since July of 2008. At this time I had been waiting 4 of an estimated 8 months for my referral. HALF WAY THERE!!! If on target I could possibly meet my little baby sometime around March. Now with the new limitation I was told that I MAY be able to continue the process in October of 09 while some of my friends would have to wait until October 2010 or October 2011
I remember the hysteria around that time. I remember the feeling of hopelessness, incompleteness and overall sadness. I remember all of the very kind words from strangers. I saw so many people searching for a situation and I became a sort of guru of information about who, what, when and where you could go to possibly still be accepted into the ever closing window. I made my decision immediately. I would be still and wait until I could hear the voice of God. I stated very matter of factly to others that despite having other options (domestic) I would stand still until March or April. And then I would decide. I spoke to many friends who could not see any good coming out of waiting. But I didn't have ONE DIME to move to another agency and more than half of my fees had been paid. I just had to wait.
On April 1, 2009, I received a call from agency saying we would have a conference call for singles only. On April 2nd I was told that single parent adoption would be resumed and I was NUMBER 2 on the list waiting for a referral!!!!!!
And on April 9th I met Lulako Daniso!!
So much fear so much anxiety... but the first glimpse of my beautiful daughter (beautiful now but I wasn't so sure then!)
A lot had to happen to make this a reality. And for each and EVERY step I am so VERY THANKFUL!!!!!!!
For the extended wait time... so that I could be matched to THIS little girl
For the many friends that understood because they were going thru the same thing
For the family that supported me
For God for having vision over my life
"They" said it couldn't happen. But IT DID.
I am praying today for Celeste who is still waiting for her girls and for Tami who is still waiting to see her girl.
But guess what EVERY ONE OF MY SINGLE BUDDY's PULLED IT OFF!!!!
Girls last year was bad... but this year we are full of thanks and praise!
Me and Lulu did an impromptu photo shoot a few weeks back and I just got the proofs. I called myself photoshopping them before the pro's did their thing, and my friend Arilee brought me back to reality. Better keep my day job ... oh wait I don't have one LOL. Anyway here is some of the pics!
I am cheating.... I'm going out tonight and Lulu is having her first sleep over with grandma!!!! But please check out her blog to see what she's been doing....
Today has been a hard day. today I had to face accusations about myself that were not true but there was no real defense. Sometimes things are done in haste or in error and it can be a very costly mistake to live with. What surprised me is that I looked over at my angel baby and I knew what mattered most. I am leaning on the faith that I talk to my friends about. If not faith, Lord please give me some FAVOR.
That's my post. Sorry there isn't more to be said :(
In one month Lulu will celebrate her FIRST birthday!!!!!!! She just has too much stuff already!!!! So instead of getting gifts, Lulu is going to give them. Yesterday, I posted our link to clean:water. It is an awesome organization. In lieu of gifts, donations are made to clean:water on Lulu's behalf and it is spent to build wells in underprivileged areas.
Surprisingly, I've met some opposition to this proposal. Whenever I share with others that Lulu will not be having the traditional first birthday party, I am often given great "cost saving" ideals that would enable me to give her a party. I've been told that I could give her a party and ask for money instead of gifts -- which to me is like having a wedding and asking for money (to avoid a huge discussion about that, I will just say that's not my thing); one suggested I go to "the dollar store" and just at least decorate. I'm not sure what would be the point of spending money when even $20.00 makes a huge difference in a project like this. Lulu will have a cake event. Cake, maybe ice cream (a signature drink for her Mom :). We will take pictures and I'm sure the Grandma's and aunts will come, but we won't do any party favors, or invites, or anything like that. I don't think that Lulu will remember much. I believe that special days are important. I pray that she will certainly have many special days. I just want them to be special for her!
More than anything, I know Lulu has all that she needs at this time. I am blessed to have Lulu but it is because her birth parents did not have all they needed such as medicine and clean water that she is with us today. Her mother died because of that lack of clean water. I am mindful of that DAILY!!! This matters to me, it matters to us and it matters to them. Giving is not a requirement, I only want people to do what they want to do. But I really ain't interested in the naysayers :(
On another note, my sister had a Meet and Greet this weekend for Scotland Rose :)
Please if you are still out there. SAY SOMETHING!!!! Lulu said she's going to post onher blog too!
Ok anyway.....
Yesterday was Halloween. We had an absolutely great time! We had a really long day. First my sister had a meet and greet with her friends (I think we got some pics somewhere). And then we had a party and Lulu was a bumble bee.
Here she is with Uncle Charles, cousin Chelsey and Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I'm here really!!! I know its been an awful long time. So much has happened. I traveled with my two girlfriends to Ethiopia and picked up my little baby. My insurance company refused to cover her and I finished school and have no job! Well I could still sell real estate, so I kind of a job but not it is very very scary!!!!! I want to blog my trip but I am exhausted!!!!
I know I owe some of you updates. I am working on it I promise. Also, I will be posting about all things Lulu, on her blog www.100percentlulu.blogspot.com. Now don't rush over there because there is nothing to see!!! But I am on it. Really... just as soon as I get some sleep. I am TIRED.
Lulu is the bomb and my family is completely enamored. I love her dearly but this is a lot of work... I got some adjusting to do.
Sonya -- my beautician to surgically apply the lye
OB Tampons
frequent flyer miles
Toms Toothpaste
Deodorant
God
Music
My Mac
4 inch heels
Remote
My Mom
Navigation
Yellow Legal Pads
Sex
Eye glasses
Instant Messenger
White Gap T-shirts
Green well worn head scarf
Peoples Court
Good Books
Butter
My brother
Camera
Education
Bible
Travel
Meditation
Orange kool-aid with Lemon juice
Thongs
Two pillows
Toilet paper
Birth Control Pills
Merlot
Hell - Any Alcohol!
Vision
400 thread count
Freedom
Google
My reputation
Dajuan
Refrigeration
Furnace
Fan
Power
Stimulation conversation
Sunglasses
Fresh flowers
Blogger
Conscience
Youtube
Common Sense
Fruit
Clean Water
Shower
Facebook
Lulako
My Dad
People Magazine
Pictures
A good mattress
Blood
Insurance
Atlas
Perfume
Good will
Rosemary
Love
Family
Martini
Peace of Mind
All 4 seasons
The laughter of children
clean water
My fellow PAP's
Eyebrow Arch
Clean water
Humanitarian spirit
Clean water
Imagine 100 things that you CAN NOT LIVE with out
Now imagine living without ANY of them!
100 Things....
can you give 100 -- little/ inexpensive/ insignificant to you -- things ---
to someone that doesn't have those things that I can't live without?
I have a daughter in Africa. I am going to get her in a month. I am collecting 100 THINGS.... I have lofty goal set to get my baby. Failure is not an option. Because at 6 months she has lost more than I will every gain....
Although this picture is a not the most current pic, its one of my favorites. Its like she is saying.... "um yeah... whatever!"
Yes I passed court. Sorry for the cryptic message in the last post. I felt it was important to post that because I had been working on it but I never finished it. But I wanted everyone to know my Babycakes is headed to the US of A!
This post was previously written on 6/19/09 but I never finished it
So ya'll know I'm very kool, kalm and kollective right? WRONG... Last week I completely lost it!!!!
See what had happened was .....
I was blessed with this video from Amy E from her travels in early May, and i could never open it. So out of the blue one night Amy gets it fixed up and sends it to me. Now ya'll should know that Catrina is a video maniac and has been waiting on Lulu's video since way before she got her own referral. So any way I open of the video...1 minute and like 3 seconds....and I am completely torn. I mean is this my baby... can this be my daughter? She is so tiny, so helpless. Is she sick... is she OKAY????? I mean Lulu was VERY tiny when I got her referral and she is growing SOOOOOO slowly.
All the thoughts that run thru your head... its just overwhelming. I'm talking 5 days before court and am I really RECONSIDERING!!! SECOND GUESSING!!!! or God forbid REGRETTING?!?!?!?!?!
Can I take care of a sick baby?
Man, i just did not want to think about this. So I just got really really quiet. I think that EVERY parent worries about the health of their baby. Regardless if you give birth to a child or if you adopt a child, the fear of the unknown is VERY great. The problem is this. There are a ton of birth parents that discuss these fears. With their family, their doctor, their friends -- a therapist). They do extra test and obsess over the ultrasounds, they prepare a special diet and stay out of the way of smokers. But adoptive parents, we don't have the luxury of taking all of these precautions. We don't have the luxury of holding our little one and and assessing all the fingers and all the toes. This is obviously the first thing that a mother does after birth (not like she can send Baby back...). We require the same reassurances. So we rely on the monthly reports, the pictures, and the short 1 minute videos. And we assess. I'm telling you... I was not pleased with what I was seeing. I was terrified actually.
Added on 7/02/09
Enter my partner in crime Celeste . So I reluctantly sent the video to Celeste (not Catrina, she's too perky lol). And Celeste instantly heightened my fears. Celeste and I have made this journey from the beginning and we have had some real heart to heart talks, so we know each others breaking point.
Well to make a long story short, after me and Celeste acted like complete maniacs, enter Valarie.....who traveled across the world to check on my little Lulu!!!
Tomorrow morning, a judge will wake up in Addis Ababa Ethiopia and don the honorable Black Robe Tomorrow morning an uncle will travel many hours to say goodbye forever to the daughter of his brother Tomorrow morning an agent will plead my case Tomorrow morning a mother in Heaven will rejoice Tomorrow morning I will become a mother Tomorrow morning will be a culmination of things
It is 11:39 a.m. in Addis Ababa Ethiopia. Just one day from now my life will change. Winds of time will come together.
Forces bigger than me.
Forces out of my control...
Eternal forces
Decide
Not my agency, not MOWA, not the judge, not the uncle, not me
Honestly, the expression I laughed I cried... (and I was in class tearing up!) Just needed to say it. BTW Tami... you know I got evicted off the island due to not making the income requirements of Island ownership. But I'm fighting my way back!
Hey there!!! I'm still here. And I do not have a court date yet. I am actually patiently waiting because God is doing SO MUCH in my life right now that I am busy busy preparing to bring Babycakes home. I am rejoicing for my dear friends that passed court!!! Valarie and Ms. D! I am praying for the strength of those that are just waiting and waiting and waiting... Jeanine, Celeste! I am excited for those with new little faces to look at Catrina and Haze! I am hopeful for those preparing and waiting, Tami, Trice, Rayshell and Cristina A. I am in admiration of those that are building there families (way to many to name)! But I am most overwhelmed by what a blessing this experience has been for me. My life is out of control right now. Complete utter chaos, and not in a good way! But I know that the God CONTINUES to take control of the timing, the finances and the everyday victories that exist in my life!
Nope I am not anxious for a court date. I already HAVE a date, but right now only GOD knows!!!
READ THIS.....
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
NOW REALLY read it!
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
When times are hard it is SOOO tempting to try to find your own solution. I am struggling ya'll!!! And God continues to give me so many joys. He continues to make a way out of NOOOOOOOOO way!!! Why does he love me? Why does he remember me? Because I am his child. Because he will provide for me even when I have not been obedient. His love is the love that a parent has for a child, though they may discipline their child for being disobedient, they still continue to feed, clothe and love that child... Oh my Heavenly Father.... The greatest parent indeed!!!
This young man has a simple message to share!!! Please share it with him.
May you find the WAIT as an opportunity to build strength. Like a runner in training. Use this time to strengthen your faith and know that IT IS because HE said IT IS!
disclaimer: Not your typical description, very long, kind of boring, and just pretty odd...
Okay... Sorry it took so long to write this post. I know for me reading about THE CALL is one of my favorite parts. I didn't think I could do it any justice until the shock wore off, but I didn't want to miss the opportunity to share this.
First of all, I must preference this by saying I am a MANIAC about this adoption. I have a strong ability to retain details and I have sorted all of the possible scenarios of how this referral could actually come about. I was CERTAIN, my call would come this week... I was almost embarrassed to share it with very many people because I didn't want to seem so certain, but I just knew.
Anyway, so I usually don't go to school on Thursday but I went to a workshop at school and my mind was not on the phone or the computer. I got home at 3:00 and I thought to myself... maybe I should email Abbey to ask her if Gladney was going to be open on Friday. You see I was convinced my call was coming on FRIDAY. Gladney really likes Friday and now Friday was not a normal business day. Anyway, I didn't email her. Let me back up a little. After hearing that I could be coming close to being matched with a baby, I had emailed Abbey and asked her to email me first in case I wasn't near the phone, then I emailed her again and said maybe you should call me. She was good about my craziness and told me she would definitely call me because "it's better that way".
So I'm laying across the bed not particularly feeling anything. Just eery, quiet and weird. At 3:57 my phone rang. 817 area code. I picked it up rather reserved, the call went something like this (yes I am ruining it for those who are waiting lol)
Abbey: Hi Robbin
Robbin: Hey Abbey
very casual, cause you know we talk everyday NOT
Abbey: How are you Robbin
Robbin: Um... well I don't know Abbey, how are you
Abbey: Well I think your day is about to get much better... are you near your computer
Clearly Abbey doesn't know me, I sleep with my computer. Mac is my man.
Robbin: Its right here Abbey...
Abbey: I'm sending you an email, let me know when you get, we can open it together.
Robbin: It's here Abbey... Oh Lord, I have a referral
At this point I start thinking....who the Hell is home... I need support!
Abbey: There are some pictures....
Robbin: I see them...
Abbey: Isn't she beautiful
Ummm okay, lets stop right here... she is umm very very NOT what I expected
Abbey: Robbin? Are you there
No response, just shock...
Abbey: Robbin?
Robbin: Yes Abbey, I'm here
Abbey: She is 4 months
Email Tami: "I'm getting a referral"
Tami: What are you emailing for? (of course you're getting a referral what's your point)
Me: No Tami, I'm getting the referral right now...
Abbey: Robbin are you there.... did you see the little one where she is...
Robbin: Um Yeah sure...
Email 7 other ppl: "I'm getting a referral!!!!!"
Abbey: Okay Robbin I need you to open the second document
Robbin: Okay Abbey
My phone starts ringing OFF THE HOOK.
Email Tami: Why the hell are you calling me??? I'm talking to Abbey
Tami: I need INFO!!!!
Abbey: Robbin are you there?
Robbin: Yes Abbey, I see it (whatever IT is)
I know she is saying something. Maybe its in Amharic. I can't understand her. Maybe I need an interpreter.
Google... Amharic interpreter Michigan
Abbey: Robbin what are you thinking
Robbin: Honestly Abbey?
Abbey: Yes
Robbin: I hear a noise so I know you must be talking... but really I hear "wa womp wa womp, wa womp, wa womp" insert Charlie Brown teacher voice " I am honestly not sure what you are talking about."
Abbey: You will have all of this in writing. You can review it later. It can be a lot to absorb. I'll just keep going if that's okay
Robbin: Um yeah sure
Reviewing about a hundred emails from the same seven maniacs that keep calling my phone and start sending pictures
Tami: Answer the phone!!!!!!!! Cutie!!!!!!!!! OMGGGGGGGGGcutieeeeeeeeepiiiiiiiiieeeeeeee
Abbey: Are you there Robbin
Robbin: Yes Abbey, are you done?
Abbey: Well... um there is a little more
Robbin: I have to go now Abbey
Abbey: Well umm... I really am happy for you, I won't be in tomorrow and......
Emailing, sweating, hyperventilating. Completely not understanding what Abbey is saying... must be Amharic again.
Robbin: Bye Abbey, have a great Easter, talk to you Monday. Bye now. Bye Bye
Abbey: Um, okay Robbin, have a great weekend.
Call ended 4:27. 39 emails from friends later!
Can I tell you that it was the weirdest and most unplanned reaction, I get that. It was not at all how I imagined. And it took me three days before I was ready to even relive the oddity.
More of my reaction to follow. But I really want to share this song. Its very very fitting!
I know People don't always feel like watching the videos, and a lot of times they are reading from a reader or have the volume down, but the song I have going is by an artist name K'jon. It is a TREAT. It means so much to me and my little one. I would love to share it with you!
Sometimes It feels like Everything Is passin' me by Every now and then It feels like (feels like) My ship has gone and sailed away But I I gonna be strong (gotta be strong) Gotta hold on It won't be too long
Now the tide is coming near I see the waves flowing Out there on the ocean I know my ship is coming in Just pass the horizon And right where the sky ends Cause out there on the ocean Know my ship is coming in But don't leave me hanging I've been waiting to long But this moment My ship has finally come
I would travel to the seven seas (I would even go) I would even go wherever the wind blows me (I'll do anything) I'll do anything to find my destiny It's like fightin' with gravity And it's bringin' me down If this world was really round then tell me how It's just a moment for you to come around
Now the tide is coming near I see the waves flowing Out there on the ocean I know my ship is coming in (coming in baby) Just pass the horizon And right where the sky ends Cause out there on the ocean Know my ship is coming in But don't leave me hanging I've been waiting to long But this moment My ship has finally come
Finally you come (around) Around, around I said finally baby
Finally you come (around) Around, around
Finally you come around, come around baby
Super Duper Thank You to everyone that has reached out to me. I was NOT prepared for all the support and well wishes. It is an amazing and overwhelming feeling.
Today is surreal. Today is April 9, 2009 and today I saw my daughter's beautiful TINY face!
I will tell about the call later.
I added music just for the occasion and updated my blog background.
Oh yeah... she is 4 months old!!!
Lyrics of course.... Lauryn Hill TO GOOD TO BE TRUE!
You're just too good to be true can't take my eyes off of you you'd be like heaven to touch I wanna hold you so much at long last love has arrived and I thank God I'm alive you're just too good to be true can't take my eyes off of you
Pardon the way that I stare there's nothing else to compare the sight of you leaves me weak there are no words left to speak but if you feel like I feel please let me know that it's real you're just too good to be true can't take my eyes off of you
chorus: I need you baby and if it's quite alright I need you baby to warm the lonely nights I love you baby, trust in me when I say:ok(its okaay) Oh pretty baby, don't let me down, I pray oh pretty baby, now that I've found you, stay and let me love you, o baby, let me love you, o baby
No really, there has been NO movement. Minutes feel like hours and hours feel like days. I can't study. And I know I have to.
So I picked a really cheesy song. I know the video doesn't fit, but the words do!
For the life of me I never thought that it could be The way it stands right now Emotions running high Every night I wish that I Could tell you how I feel Those words are here in my heart Oh but there is just one missing part How to put it together How to say it right And let you know that Every night I'll be dreamin' Dreamin' Hoping baby you will be there I'll be dreamin' [ Find more Lyrics on www.mp3lyrics.org/SVmc ] Dreamin' Hoping baby you will be there Let me take time out To try and find out If this could be real Cause reality scares me I've been living a fantasy How should I feel Those words are here in my heart Oh but there is just one missing part How to put it together How to say it right And let you know that Every night I'll be dreamin' Dreamin' Hoping baby you will be there I'll be dreamin' Dreamin' Hoping baby you will be there
adoption: a legal proceeding that creates a parent-child relation between persons not related by blood; the adopted child is entitled to all privileges belonging to a natural child of the adoptive parents
There is no different definition given for those that aren't the "normal" adoptive parents...I don't understand people that rally only for the rights and privileges of those that seem "normal". I am a Black single heterosexual PAP (prospective adoptive parent), I don't want to be judged by the married folks that don't think its important for singles to adopt, nor do I want to judge those that are homosexual trying to adopt, or even judge those adopting transracially. Because judgment is judgment.
judgment: generally refers to the considered evaluation of evidence in the formation of making a decision
Honestly, I am disappointed in the people that were happy to see Madonna's adoption denied. Of course everyone preferenced their opinion by stating that they were absolutely not in judgment. No one would ever say their true reason for being against Madonna adopting this little girl.
Is it Racism? - Are you opposed to it because of the transracial aspects.
Is it Classism? -Are you opposed to it because you believe that Madonna used her money to bully her way thru the system
Is it Religious Intolerance? - Does your religion give you Carte Blanche to decide who is and isn't worthy?
I think its just pure Judgism... Yep I made it up. How ridiculous to assume that money is enough to make the stresses of adoption any easier? So it gets you to the front of the line. But it is still as stressful and heartfelt an experience as any PAP feels when desiring to grow their family. How ridiculous to assume its done for publicity or due to some trend... Really the same money that got her to the front of the line, could have easily bought her a few schools in underdeveloped areas with her name on them, that's publicity. She certainly could have used that same money to find a less public situation with a more accommodating official just to get her a "matching" kid. Nope, she returned to the country that gave her the wonderful son, that she loves dearly and has with her whenever she is seen out publicly who has clearly enhanced her life. She returned to Malawi. She did her homestudy, she did her embassy clearances, she paid her fees to get before the judge (while spending many more dollars in the country), she REQUESTED a waiver and she was denied.
Who gets to judge? Certainly not the same people that have stood or will stand before a decision maker asking for the same consideration -- an opportunity to parent a child. Because after all, who has really earned it? If only AP's and PAP's would stand up for the ideal of parenting by adoption and not the ideal of parenting by adaption. I'm not trying to fit the "norm" I trying to be a Mom.
If Madonna had "just" got pregnant, she could've saved herself a lot of headaches. Shame on her for not picking a more established program -- like Ethiopia to get a healthy infant as young as possible. Nope shame on her for trying to adopt a 4 year old ORPHAN. How dare she, who the hell does she think she is. Using her money and status to take a child away from her home...
I am so very confused.
God bless Mercy... Or is it Lord Have Mercy
Ok, todays selection has a double meaning. Absolutely better include the lyrics because you have to get past all those preconceived Madonna feelings to appreciate this one....
Ive had other guys Ive looked into their eyes But I never knew love before til you walked through my door Ive had other lips Ive sailed a thousand ships But no matter where I go Youre the one for me baby this I know, cause its
Chorus:
True love Youre the one Im dreaming of Your heart fits me like a glove And Im gonna be true blue baby I love you
Ive heard all the lines Ive cried oh so many times Those tear drops they wont fall again Im so excited cause youre my best friend So if you should ever doubt Wonder what love is all about Just think back and remember dear Those words whispered in your ear, I said
No more sadness, I kiss it good-bye The sun is bursting right out of the sky I searched the whole world for someone like you Dont you know, dont you know that its
Honestly not trying to piss anyone off... April Fools... You know I don't really care about pissing anyone off.
Continuing with my very subtle hints by way of a musical parade.
Nothing much to report here...
I give you this Green Day hint hit.
FOR ANYONE I MAY HAVE LEFT BEHIND WITH THIS HINT.... THE LYRICS LOL!
I've been waiting for a long time For this moment to come I'm destined For anything...at all Downtown lights will be shining On me like a diamond Ring out under the midnight hour No one can touch me now And I can't turn my back It's too late ready or not at all
I'm so much closer than I have ever known... Wake up
Dawning of a new era Calling...don't let it catch you falling Ready or not at all So close enough to taste it Almost...I can embrace this Feeling....on the tip of my tongue
I'm so much closer than I have ever known... Wake up Better thank your lucks stars....
I've been waiting for a life time For this moment to come I'm destined for anything at all
Dumbstruck Colour me stupid Good luck You're gonna need it Where I'm going if I get there... At all....
Since I'm limited with what I can tell you... I will serenade you in song. Don't be trying to guess LOL. And naw this ain't April Fool's. When I have something to tell ya, I will!
POINTER SISTERS!!!!! I'm So excited.... I'm about to lose control and I think I like it!
Anyone adopting a child from Ethiopia has either read, intend to read or been advised to read this book. There is No Me Without You by Melissa Fay Greene is a must read when trying to understand the in's and out's of the orphan crisis in Ethiopia.
The book is the about the story of Hargewoin Teferra " a middle-class Ethiopian widow whose home became a refuge for hundreds of AIDS orphans, and about a few remarkable children who moved through her life."
Sadly, Ms. Teferra has passed away. Ethiopia has lost a warrior for children's rights.
Suggestive emails with racial undertones are ridiculous! So long Dean Grose!
In 2003 Kweisi Mfume, then president and CEO of the NAACP held a press conference rejecting streotypes of Black people in America.
"We are still living with the entirely untrue racist labels placed on African-Americans hundreds of years ago. We [African-Americans] do not enjoy sitting on our porches, nor do we frequently drink malt liquor from 40-ounce bottles. We do not wear our hats backward, nor our pants with one leg bunched up, and we certainly wear more than just Fila and FUBU. We love to swim. Also, few of us are afraid of dogs. Our hair is not nappy, our buttocks not big, our noses and lips not wide, and our legs are plenty hairy. Our elbows, knees, and heels are smooth and moist. We are not prone to stealing things and we think white women are ugly. We never buy cheap cars and put expensive stereo systems in them. As for the stereos we have, we always keep them playing at a courteous level. As for the cars, we always drive with our seats up and both hands on the wheel. We rarely use swear words, and our grammar is always perfect. The great majority of us think Snoop Dogg is lewd and inappropriate. We never call women derogatory names like “bitches” or “hos.” We do not smoke Kool and most of us have never heard of Newport.
We do not smoke Buddha, nor chronic, nor hocus-pocus, nor any other narcotics. We barely know the meanings of the words “fly,” “dope,” “trick,” “phat,” “dawg,” and “off the hook,” among others. Those of us who are musicians know what guitars and drums are and how to use them to make music. We rarely sing about guns or women. Our handshakes are not complicated at all. We do not like to make fun of white people. We never talk about the “white man” holding us down. We do not name our daughters after perfumes with “ita” added to the end. We do not necessarily like the taste of sweet potato pie, nor collard greens, nor fried chicken, nor watermelon. I don’t even know what chitlins are. Just about all the others I’ve forgotten are false, too. I hope this aids in the removal of racial boundaries and what not."
When asked if any African-American stereotypes are true, Mfume responded: “Well our dicks are huge. Oh, and we can dance like a motherfucker.”
This pissed me off. It should piss you off too (cause its my blog and I said so). I would love to hear ANYTHING that sounds like a different perspective on this......
I borrowed it from my friend Valarie's blog.... we both are at a loss for words (I know hard to believe right).
Oh yeah. The NEW YORK POST published this......
I wanted to say little but come on..... Two days ago a chimp was killed after attacking a visitor to his "mom's" home. The tape was chilling. This is what you do to a chimp out of control.
I'm a law student. So anyone that knows me knows I love a good argument. But what drives me crazy is when someone acts as if because something does not affect them, it really must not affect anyone else. My last post was linked to a much larger forum and received quite a lot of differing opinions. I must say I have gained a different perspective from my fellow PAP's. I am not saying all Black mom's have hair figured out and that White mom's don't. Come on clearly my Mom missed the hair lesson given to all new mothers at new mother school. But I do think that when we are raising Black boys in White America and Black girls in White America we MUST consider what works best for them. Lets face it, we all want to just fit in... (well most of us anyway). I posted this in part on the forum. I'm sure it will not be well received. But I wanted to share it here as well.
For those who actually read my post, I put a picture of my brother. A few days ago my college educated brother, who has lived on 4 continents and is an accomplished musician, doesn't sag (pants) and was walking along a very diverse street in Manhattan, was stopped by an undercover police officer, questioned and basically badgered because he "fit the profile". After refusing to answer any questions, submit to any search and demanding an explanation, he was "released" and "allowed" to go on his way. Humiliated, is possibly the best word to describe how he felt. Could it happen to anyone? Absolutely. Did he get a chance to explain that he is not African American but perhaps Ethiopian...Nope. Bottom line for me is this: Will he come home and get the necessary support and understanding that he needs in order to dust his self off and go into the big bad world again tomorrow or will he be met with opposition by those who don't want to believe that IT does matter. That you have to really consider what you are doing to possibly add to the issues that is faced everyday by being Black in America.
and because you know I love pictures. I wanted to share this most current one of my brother.....
Needless to say I was heartbroken. And he looks crazy without all those luscious locs!!!
I used to wear Dread locs. I of course don't call them Dread locs, because there is nothing dreadful about them. I wanted to loc my hair for several years but was not ready for the commitment and the finality. I started locing in 2000. I wore my hair loc'd for 7 years. In that time, I had many friends that wore locs as well
My mother wears locs
My brother wears Locs
So you ask yourself... what is the point?
Well we all Loc'd our hair after we were GROWN! I am truly appalled at the trend of adoptive parents -- transracial adoptions -- (White parents, Black Children)-- locing their children hair. Apparently the parents think that this is either a.) desirable by the child or b.) easier to deal with. IT'S NOT!!!!
Locs are first and foremost a choice. You will not find ONE Black parent that will loc their children's hair unless the child is old enough to request it or unless the parents have locs of their own. Locs are a serious and intimate decision. Some wear it for fashion. But either way, all loc wearers know it should not be entered without much thought, understanding and commitment.
It is amazing to me how many hours are spent posting about hair care for "Black" hair. But I understand that the best way to counteract the unknown is to study up. But to loc a child's hair. A child???? Are you serious?
Little Black girls love to swing their pigtails as equally as their white counterparts. Getting your hair pressed for Easter Sunday is a rites of passage of sorts. Hair envy is common, even on small girls. Little Black girls were not very happy to have their hair braided up because although it saved you from the torture of getting your hair "did", it ultimately took away the free feeling of having your hair down.
My heart is sad. I know it might seem so petty but I promise you, it is a growing and pretty irreversible trend. To see so many PAP's make this decision, discuss it and pass pictures on forums, just makes me wonder.... just how much adoptive parents really understand about the challenges faced in transracial adoptions. Yes I know that seems harsh but so is being insensitive to what it means to be Black in America.
I believe in adoption. I believe a child deserves to be in a loving caring home. I also believe that adoption requires an "eyes wide open" approach. The level of understanding is not decided merely by "following your heart" and "saving an orphan". It is not based on cost nor wait times. It's not merely something that can be reversed by disruption or institutionalization. Its not to be done to prove a point...... It is the ultimate gift of life.
I wish I could reach out to the AP's doing this, but I have tried and met great opposition. I found with adoption, people rarely want to hear the truth, or even your opinion. They want to believe what they want to believe. Period.
I am too pissed to say what I want to say. This is a politically correct blog :)
Studying of course! A while back I was praying for some direction and thankfully, so many have prayed for me as well. I know this is suppose to be a good thing, but I am very grateful to almost me done... looking like this!
Actually, I just hadn't posted in a while and I wanted to talk about one of my real passions in life..... eating!!!! LOL. Really I would post before and after pics if I had some after after pics to regain my dignity. Alas, there are none yet so I have to let you in on a little secret.... I'm on a LIVIT..... what's that you say? Well its like a Diet... except you do it to Live, so you change forever!!! :) I have lost 4 lbs in record time and that's all I'm telling you about that! Suffice it to say that my goal weight loss is exponentially higher than that by many times.
I have some ideals on how I will do it and I am going to journal it. But just not so YOU can see lol. I really want to be ready for an active toddler (or teenager as my negative boyfriend seems to think she will be by the time she comes home!) I used to run and I actually have a very good food palette. So I think I can combine the two and maybe get some positive results.....
I also wanted to take a moment to discuss my unnatural addiction to Ethiopian food. Actually, my addiction to it has overtaken my addiction to Taco's! LOL. Basically if I hear the word Taco I then need to go home and cook them for dinner (I feel it coming on right now). However if I SEE injera then I start to crave it and if I see Doro wat, and lamb and all the other spicy fixins... I have to run over to my favorite Ethiopian restaurant in the area Taste of Ethiopiaand see my favorite proprietor Meskerem .
I know that Ethiopian food is family style dining. But the other day I couldn't help it and since I am unable to convince any of my friends to eat there with me.... I had to go alone!!!! That's right, a whole table full of food for just ME!!!!!!!!!!
Which brings me full circle to my LIVIT. And the end of this really stupid post.
then I start to crave it and if I see Doro wat, and lamb and all the other spicy fixins...
I have to run over to my favorite Ethiopian restaurant in the area 
.